Reality Problems
by Swordmouse
Summary: The closer Dib got to his current goal, the more afraid he became of the consequences. What would this mean for him if Zim actually agreed? Either way, this would permanently change their relationship. !ZADR!
1. Chapter 1

**I feel like a lazy bum here. DX I know I promised to work on 'My Tallest'... Yeah, not working out. I actually was very pleased with the last chapter of it, which is rare for me because I'm a perfectionist. Now I feel like I can't do it justice, or even find an interesting point to start up again. I'll probably be mostly on hiatus for a while longer, then get back to more regular submissions. Maybe I'll go right back to 'Prisoner of Nightmares.' *shrugs***

**Anyway, for those who don't give a crap/know nothing about my other stories, this right here is just something that popped into my head. I may continue it, but if I do, it'll probably be random scenes- whatever interesting instances of ZADR I can think of- that's what this is.**

**This current chapter is rated K-K+. It is likely to go up to teen for romance/suggestive stuff, violence, mild swearing, darkness, and possible vague descriptions of Irken anatomy-nothing too 'private' though I think. There will be warnings about such content before chapters.**

**CONTAINS ZADR. DON'T LIKE? DON'T READ! **

**Constructive criticism/any review except angry, rude flames, HIGHLY encouraged. Please tell me what you think!**

**"*"**

There was sweat on Dib's face, dripping down, and not entirely from the summer heat. His heart pounded, as hard as it could, the boy felt like it was exploding inside him. He was walking down the concrete sidewalk, slowly, hesitantly. Each collision between his feet and the ground sounded like sharp blows of metal in his ears, his inner musings were blocking out everything else. His surroundings, the people around him, didn't matter. Right now it was just him, his destination, and the precious bunch of things he had hidden, tucked inside his trench coat.

He was more nervous every moment. Should he really bring those? He just felt like an idiot. He didn't know what he was doing, he just needed to do it. He needed to get an answer.

This wouldn't work out. He could just imagine the look the little green alien would give him, the ridicule... At the very least though, he still had to try.

If Zim did accept, even on some small level, it would be beyond Dib's wildest hopes, it would be heaven.

-he really expected a very flat no-

No matter how much doubt he had, the human wanted this. He had to try. He was going to Zim's base, putting himself in a vulnerable position, in an attempt to create a small sense of trust- hopefully.

No matter how afraid he was of the possible upcoming hurt, he needed to know how things were set out. If he had even the slightest chance he would not neglect it.

At the very least, he couldn't let emotions get in the way of his work of protecting earth, if things did turn out to be the same as they ever were.

Dib's mouth was dry as he swallowed.

For the third time, the boy stopped as 'maybe some other time' came back into his mind to pester and urge him to turn back. He couldn't change his mind now though. He'd never do this if he gave in to the idea of waiting until another day. He was close now, just a couple more blocks. He forced himself to start walking again.

"*"

Frozen, Dib stood staring ahead. He was peering over the fence, chin and hands resting on the top, standing on tip-toes. There was the greenish house, disproportional and unnatural in shape so it looked possessed, or something, leering at him. A distressed noise bubbled out of Dib's throat. How dire would the circumstances of his actions be?

He didn't want Zim to capture him, or have the lawn gnomes beat him up, obviously, but that never usually stopped him. He was afraid of the change he was going to make.

No matter how Zim answered, what he was about to say would change everything, maybe forever, unforgivably.

"Last chance to turn back..."

He whispered to himself.

Dib stood there for another empty five minutes, unnoticed, too worried to go any further.

Heart pounding, thoughts argumentative, feet hesitant and uncooperative, body sweating. He'd never even considered anything like this. Never tried anything like this before.

How could he have the courage to stand up to giant lazer weasels, but be unable to just ask Zim if...

'another day maybe...'

Dib sighed out heavily, and turned around. He started walking back home, defeated.

He just couldn't make himself do it. It was too frightening, too new, too difficult, he had no experience with anything like this. He'd usually been too busy to even think about this stuff.

It would cause too much change. It was a stupid, bad idea. Better to leave things like they were.

'but then I'd never know. What if there's a chance? Even just one, tiny little chance?'

Dib had gone about twenty steps before he changed his mind again and ran all the way back to the fence to stare over it again, longingly, but panicking.

This wasn't fair. How could something as simple as a question be so difficult?

Well, he couldn't just change his mind over and over. He either did it, or didn't do it. No. He was going to. He was doing it. Right now.

The boy forced himself to move, dragging his feet, onward, up the walk. The gnomes followed him with their eyes, but didn't raise their arms to fire lazers. Good, at least that seemed to indicate Zim wasn't in a paranoid mood today, or Dib probably wouldn't have been able to set foot inside the fence without getting second degree burns.

Keep walking. Up to the door.

"Zim must know I'm here by now, his computer usually tells him as soon as it detects anyone."

Dib stood several feet back from the door, expecting the Irken to slam it open and start screaming at him at any second now.

...

Nothing.

"Please tell me I won't have to ring the doorbell..."

If he did that, after he did, the decision would be made, no going back. It would be him starting the conversation, and Zim would immediately want to know why the boy was there.

It was far too hard to lift his finger. Far to hard to stare at the button, hesitate, argue back and forth with himself, then, push down.

He stood holding his breath.

"Here goes everything... I really hope he doesn't kill me..."

Seconds passed and nothing happened.

"Where is he? Didn't he hear the doorbell? Is it broken? Is this just fated not to happen or something? Maybe I really should just go home..."

When the door finally slammed open, Dib jumped with a startled 'meep!', heart missing a beat.

The alien looked angry, and blackened in places, like something had exploded at him recently. "WHAT?" He spat.

Dib flinched, face turning reddish. Maybe this was a bad time. He looked off to the side, mind flailing for something to say.

Zim growled at the awkward silence and narrowed his eyes. He was impatient and angry. He didn't have time for this! What was this? The Dib-talk-monkey had nothing to say for once? Why did he bother him then? The fool... Stupid, smelly Dib... By the tallest! Did he ever reek of fear hormones... What was going on here?

Dib fidgeted from foot to foot and opened his mouth to speak.

He fidgeted just right for Zim to see that he had something rather large hidden inside his jacket.

The compulsive Irken had already been having a bad day. He wasn't interested in dealing with whatever Dib intended to try, assuming that whatever Dib had was a weapon. Without warning Zim snarled and leapt forward.

Dib felt Zim slam into him and squeaked again, startled, just before his head smacked back against the hard walk. Giving a pained noise, he just lay there tensed for a moment before opening his eyes to shoot an automatic glare at Zim. That really hurt... And the irken was sitting on him now.

All the motion had happened so fast that the boy hadn't completely noticed everything. He didn't understand how, exactly, Zim had suddenly wound up straddled over his upper-waist. He also didn't understand how Zim had gotten his hands on what the human had hidden inside his jacket. Now the glare fell off Dib's face in place of blank terror in anticipation of the irken's reaction.

Zim's expression went as blank as Dib's, as he analyzed what his nemesis had been hiding.

Cocking his head to the side, Zim narrowed one eye, turning the bouquet of flowers over in his black gloved hands.

It definitely wasn't from a flower shop, clearly unprofessional, but not a single piece in it was... well... At least none were MORE then half-wilted. Many of the flowers did look nice though. It was a good assortment too, pretty colors, the boy must have spent a couple hours getting the right flora and everything. Dib certainly hadn't just thrown together weeds and dandelions, that was for sure.

Zim calmed right down into a state of simple curiosity. His eyes widened a bit, as he turned the whole thing over and over, poking at it, wondering why Dib brought it here, since it had no weapons or spying devises in it. What was its purpose?

Dib eyed the overdone clump of wildflowers and felt more depressed and embarrassed then ever. It was ugly. It was a failure. It was a poor excuse for a bouquet of any kind. Dib looked away sadly, struggling to get Zim off him, so he could stand up, face reddened. He felt like running away to hide, crawling in a hole, or at least just acting indignant and upset and being stubborn about... Whatever...

However the Irken had no intention of moving. With a warning growl, Zim shifted where he sat on Dib's waist, mechanical tentacle appendages with clawed ends shooting out of his pak to pin the human's wrists to the grass. Dib made an uncomfortable noise, but gave up struggling for now, growing more fearful at what Zim might do to him. But the Irken just kept checking out his prize, poking and pulling and turning it over in a funny, awed curiosity. His antenna perked forward. The strange, colorful plants didn't smell too bad either.

"What is this?" The Irken finally questioned, never looking away from what he held.

Dib responded stupidly, in a quiet voice; "Flowers."

"I can see THAT, idiot worm-baby! What is the meaning of bringing them here?"

Dib flinched when he was yelled at, Zim glaring at him and starting to fall back into his previous bad mood.

Hesitating, Dib drew in a slow breath, stareing up at the sky. He regretted his decision to start this whole scenario. This was it.

"They're..." He swallowed, and stuttered out shyly, "They're for-for you... They're... It's... A-a gift."

Zim still seemed confused, but went back to his flower-examining.

"Hmm, yes, a gift to bribe me into a peace treaty perhaps?"

"Well, uh, sort of. Not exactly."

Zim frowned. "You speak nonsense pig, explain yourself."

The alien poked Dib's nose and the boy couldn't help but smile and blush, finding Zim's current antics cute. The human tried to sit up a little, braced on his elbows, to make their positioning at least a LITTLE less awkward.

He needed to start explaining now. His eyes searched Zim's face. He saw the usual disdain, but not much of it. Mostly Zim was just sort of pouting in confusion, and wide eyed with curiosity. The alien was practically hugging the gift he'd been given- he decided he liked the heap of colorful thingamajiggies, a worthy gift for Zim- and continually poked at the flowers.

Zim didn't look like he'd bite Dib's head off, not now, just as long as he didn't say anything stupid. Finally, the human began.

"Er, you know Zim, it's been... we've known each other for like, five years now... We, at least, I'm... Not a kid anymore you know. And... Uhm... See..." Dib stopped to think, and decided to start a different way. Flustered, he shook his head. "We haven't fought much lately-"

Zim interrupted, suddenly appearing to have been angered.

"My planning has been slow lately because... The Irken empire... Is just... Having some... Temporary problems... With conquest... So supplies are hard to get. It will all be over soon I assure you! Then everything will go back to normal,"

The alien frowned, looking off to the side.

"Zim is not losing his edge I assure you."

Dib broke in loudly. "I don't want to fight anymore though."

The boy finally blurted out something close to his full intension of communication now. Zim was startled and whipped his head back to stare incredulously.

"WHAT? What do you mean?"

Suspiciously, the contact covered eyes narrowed. Dib bit his lip nervously.

"Zim, I NEED to talk to you, civilly, just, as another living being right now, not as enemies within our little 'game.'"

This really was it. Zim looked suspicious as all get out and was pinning Dib's hands harder. Despite the warning growls, Dib continued. He had to.

'Here goes...'

"Zim, whether you care or not, at the very least I need you to understand something.

Do you know the REAL meaning of 'insane' Zim?"

The alien made a face and shook his head, shifting on Dib's waist.

"Your pak works like a human's 'brain', if I understand correctly, and, insane means that a human's brain doesn't function correctly. It means the human's brain is... A little... broken."

"Like, defective?" Zim broke in again, looking a little more interested now that he could understand a bit.

"Uhm, I guess. But, a human can go insane if certain needs aren't met, especially social stuff. Humans have a need to feel accepted, and generally liked by others, like we're worth something, we need to be... Loved, really... Do you understand that?"

Zim cocked his head. Dib felt unspeakably grateful that for once, Zim was sitting quietly and attentively. The Irken was actually listening to him. "Ehhh, Zim thinks Zim understands... Your brain will stop working right if you feel you have no worth and are unappreciated?"

"Yeah, sort of." Dib tried to make eye contact as he slowly drew closer to his dangerous point, laying on the ground with Zim still on top of him.

"It's worse if others treat you badly, if they're... 'mean', or try to hurt you, if they act hatefully. If someone is treated really badly, often enough, it can be damaging to their... mental health."

Dib drew in a deep breath. "In case you haven't noticed... No one really... Likes me... At all... Ever.

No one. The people who don't hate me don't care, and that's even true with my own family.

No one... No one would notice... Even if I went and killed myself, I don't think anyone would care... Except... Maybe... You?"

Dib bit his lip so hard it hurt, trying to look into Zim's eyes, hopeful. Zim just looked confused, and fidgeted to get more comfortable, still pinning his nemesis.

"Eh? Well...Yes... I suppose it WOULD affect my daily life quite a bit... I WOULD miss our interactions."

Dib felt a greater intensity and nervousness tying itself up inside him, hope beating harder in his heart. Zim would miss their interactions. Was that enough to work with? He could try.

"I really wasn't doing too good, when you'd first come here. I hadn't had anyone else to have intelligent conversation with in a very long time, and even if we were enemies, you LISTENED to me, we did stuff together. It... Helped. You actually... Fixed my mind, a lot.

You were the closest thing to the first friend I ever had, and I'm sure you know that I've kind of... Obsessed, over you. You're really important to me... Without you I wouldn't be doing too well...

But if I wanna stay sane... It's still not... Enough. We fight, do our best to sabotage each other's lives, it's not... It's not right... I... Really need... Someone I can trust, and have fun with, and... I... I LIKE you Zim."

There. Dib had dropped the bomb. Hopefully Zim wouldn't explode from it. Now that he'd gotten this far, words were finally streaming into his head and the boy needed to say them, even though his heart was pounding fearfully. His voice was meek and cautious, but clear.

"I REALLY like you Zim. Everything about you. I've watched you for a long time, I know so much about you, and I really... want... I've... I-I've started to feel differently about you. I don't hate you anymore. I just, don't wanna be your enemy anymore... I wanna BE WITH YOU."

Dib finally forced himself to shut up, getting scared from the look Zim was giving him. The Irken was suspicious, still confused, maybe even worried, sitting a little more stiffly on his captive.

After several seconds he responded.

"What EXACTLY are you trying to say?"

The Irken did his best to fake ignorance. Hopefully Dib would realize the horrible decision he was making and take it back. Zim didn't want to deal with this.

"I'm saying I want to be with you, I want to be... your... I... I don't know... I want to try us being friends, but I want MORE then that... I want to be in a relationship with you... Everything I do is centered around you, I need to be near you or I feel like I'm losing it, Don't you understand?"

Zim frowned. He opened his mouth to shout back some angry yet 'innocent minded' response, but then stopped himself. A look of solemn comprehension flowed over the alien's features. He DID understand.

He understood. At the very least Zim understood what Dib was saying, maybe even what he was feeling. Dib tried not to laugh out of nervous relief. At least that was something. He could see it on the irken's face.

"You mean you want to have a mate-ship relationship with Zim?"

The irken's voice was strangely flat. Dib was unsure what that meant.

"I suppose that's a good way to put it."

"I see."

Zim had lost interest in the flowers. He decided he didn't like them as much anymore.

Suddenly, he released the grip his mechanical legs had on the boy's wrists, and stood. Dib felt a strange lightness where Zim had been sitting on him before. Scrambling to stand, Dib looked after Zim, feeling worry settle into his stommach. The invader had his back to Dib, stubbornly marching back towards his house.

"Uhm, Zim?"

The Irken stopped and drew in a rather sharp breath while Dib brushed off his clothes.

"You should leave now human"

Dib felt his heart drop. He didn't answer. Zim stayed with his back towards Dib.

"You... You want me to... Leave?"

Dib parroted, hesitantly.

"Yes."

Another pause.

"Will you at least try it? Give the idea a chance?"

"No."

Dib felt like his chest was being squeezed. A voice in the back of his mind was saying 'I told you so,' but it still hurt.

"You're sure?"

The Irken whirled around, putting on a disdainful expression.

"There is nothing to be 'tried'. I know this is a trick of your smelly head of smell. You mean only to lure Zim in with love candies then capture me for autopsy!"

That really hurt.

"HAVEN'T YOU HEARD A WORD I'VE SAID? AREN'T YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION AT ALL?" Dib had lost it and Zim flinched at the yelling.

"I came to you here, so you'd be in your comfort zone and wouldn't feel threatened Zim! I put myself in danger to show you could trust me on this! Don't you understand? I can't kill you anymore! I wouldn't be able to do it because I lov-... I... Zim..."

Why was that tingling spreading through his face? He wasn't going to cry was he? In front of his enemy? He couldn't...

Luckily Zim had his back to him once again.

"If you are really telling the truth, then you don't know what your talking about Dib. I'm an Irken. I don't feel. You'll only hurt your primitive, sensitive 'feelings'."

It was probably the wrong thing to do but Dib continued to try, to press the issue.

"But I know you feel Zim, you feel as much as I do."

"You speak lies."

"I watch you constantly Zim, because I need you, it's an addiction, don't act like you don't know this.

I know you Zim, I know you feel."

"Zim feels nothing and the Dib needs to leave." The Irken's voice was getting quiet and robotic, but Dib thought Zim sounded oddly sad. His tones shook slightly. Something was wrong. Dib tried to speak soothingly.

"I've had spy cameras in your base Zim. I don't know what it's about, but I've seen you crying at night lately."

Wrong thing to say. Zim whipped around, eyes wide and terrified. Dib had seen. He knew. How much did he know though? Did he know the reason?

Either way, that didn't matter. Dib had seen. Zim almost chocked on air.

No normal Irken cried, ever. They simply weren't capable. Seeing an irken cry meant something to irkens.

Dib saw him cry.

That filthy little...

In several quick, measured steps, Zim flew forward.

Dib felt the two sharp claws dig into the flesh of his cheek and slice forward, when Zim swung out to slap him, creating deep scratches that immediately leaked out blood. Dib gave a pained cry, and jumped back, holding the injured side of his face.

"Zim, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean,"

Zim was seething, shaking, hands in fists, glaring down at his feet.

"Zim's answer is no! You're just stupid! I am an Irken. I recieve joy from causing pain. The only touch I've ever experianced was painful. You would never be able to so much as sit next to me without me goring you out of simple suspicion. There would be no gentleness or 'love'. If I agreed to what you've asked Zim for, it would be to use you. If you really knew what you were asking for you wouldnt want it. You're the one who doesn't understand. Leave. Now. LEAVE."

Irate, the alien snarled, and started towards Dib, ready to tear him limb from limb, but it was unnecessary.

Dib looked regretfully down at his boots, nodded, turned around in a hurry, and started walking back the way he'd come.

"Alright. Goodbye then Zim... Sorry to bother you."

And that was that. Dib walked away without looking back. He wouldn't allow Zim any possible satisfaction from his disappointment, shame, and hurt. He knew he'd be turned down, really, but he still had wanted to try. The rejection wasn't worth the worry. It stung.

Zim watched, motionless, until the boy was out of sight. The alien's expression was mostly unreadable, but something in him was concentrated, troubled, conflicted.

Stupid Dib-beast. Of all the things he could have come over to do and say, it had to be that... And why NOW? Of all times why now?

Why when Zim was troubled over every aspect of the only life he'd ever known? Why when he was beginning to understand and feel human emotions, and was confused, and frightened, and might actually CONSIDER it, even for a moment- why now?

Nonsense. It was all stupidity. Ridiculous. Invaders needed no... Comfort.

Zim tried to huff in contempt, but it came out as a slow, exhausted, sigh; an almost shaky sigh.

The alien walked back into his house. It was getting late, and he had much to do. So much to do. He wondered how much Dib knew from those filthy spy cameras of his... Did he know how badly the irken's life was in shambles right now?

By the time he finally could take a break from all he had to do, Zim found himself laying on his couch, sobbing his squiddily spooch out. Curled into a miserable, trembling ball, he clutched a pillow to his chest and simply wailed. He didn't know how to handle this anymore. It was too much. The empire was dying. The empire, the Irken empire as a whole, was all any Irken knew. They were brainwashed. Without that, what were they?

He was short. Tallers took out their frustration on shorters.

And Zim was a defective. He could feel. That only made it worse.

Gir.

If only he still had Gir, to hold, to cuddle.

Comfort.

If only the empire wasn't so frantic that they'd started demanding even SIRs be turned in and melted down for bullets.

The loss of his only freind and companion was what hurt the worst.

"Gir... Zim misses you..."

Slowly, tears still streaming, Zim lifted his head off the couch. Swelled, red eyes fell on the flowers, where he'd left them, dropped in the middle of his 'living room' floor, and he started to think.

How much did Dib really know though?

Could he... maybe... be kind enough to help? At least make Zim feel a little better? Comfort? Humans were supposed to be good at comforting, being more aquatinted with emotions. The sad little Irken sniffled, and he couldn't help but think that would be nice... To have a confident and freind... And consolement.

"*"

The next day, Zim didn't show up for any classes at school. He must have run down there at some point though, because when a certain depressed, raven-haired human; who had failed to get any sleep the previous night, opened his locker, there was a small note waiting for him, signed with a scribbled, vicious looking smiley face.

'"Maybe."

~ From Zim to the Dib-monkey'


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is rated T for... Dark themes and people with wonderfully messed up minds? I guess. ZADR!**

**And thank you all for the reviews! To respond to those that should have responses;**

**I do not yet have a DA. At this rate I may not get one for years for multiple stupid reasons. :/ I plan to get one at some point though, and I'll say on my profile when I set it up. ^^**

**Also, I'm rather aware that I need to work on how I write out physical action. It's not as good as I feel it should be, and I'll try and work out my style in that area. Tips on describing physical action would be appreciated.**

**To everyone else, thanks for the love! :D *hugs***

**Well, right now I can't really say anything about if/when I'll get back to posting regularly. I can PROMISE you I won't leave anything forever unfinished unless I like, die, so, yup. I've got some inspiration back. Sometimes the best way to kick writer's block is to just start writting. **

**Enjoy, and review please! Constructive criticism appreciated, or just tell me what you think.**

**~•~**

It was five more days before Zim and Dib were face to face again. The Irken didn't leave his house, and Dib figured it would be better to give Zim space- though that was very, VERY hard.

During that time Dib took up a plethora of nervous habits as if going through withdrawal from a drug. Gaz complained once or twice about him babbling loud, paranoid nonsense in his sleep and waking her up. That however, was only when Dib could actually get some sleep. Mostly he just lay in bed, on his front, staring at his laptop, doing his usual 'observation' of a certain alien. Not very polite, but at least he wasn't pulling his hair out and twitching and hallucinating.

Zim was staying in the deeper parts of his base a lot lately, unfortunately for Dib. The boy didn't have any cameras there yet.

Dib swore the alien was watching him somehow and knew. He was being mocked, wasn't he? WASN'T HE!

He was forced to realize ever more, that Zim had become just about everything that mattered to him. Without that 'drug' to focus on, to 'take in, and consume', the boy's mentality started falling apart at the seams like a ragged plush toy thrown to the dogs.

And Dib probably needed Zim a lot more then Zim needed him. Dib was at the mercy of the alien conqueror. It was scary for the boy. He was starting to get nightmares. He would be bold though. Zim gave him a chance. Zim was actually considering it.

He didn't want to wind up abused though. How far would Zim be able to go before Dib would put his foot down, if there was a chance that allowing it might get Zim to love him?

"I gotta keep it together. Be fearless. This is me without fear."

The boy mumbled softly to himself as he stared unblinking at his monitor. Zim was not within sight of any of his cameras, but sooner or later, Dib knew his patience would be worth it- he'd get a glimpse, however small, a moment of satisfaction for his twisted, ruined mind.

Desire.

The boy swallowed, finding his mouth dry, and laid down more, resting his chin on his arms.

"What is WRONG with me..."

He didn't know, but he knew the kids at school were right; he was a freak.

'what made me like this...?' Brokenly, shakily, the boy sighed.

Green flicked across one of the small camera feed screens, only for a second, and Dib leapt up, into a tense sitting position, aware of his heart speeding up and a tight squeezed sensation in his chest. He was wretchedly disappointed to find it was only some flashing warning light that turned on in the invader's computer room. It went back off in a few seconds.

Dib groaned and laid back down.

Why did he need Zim so very badly? Why did he hang on a thread, baited by Zim's every breath, stiff with adrenaline and ready to leap, feeling oh-so-alive as long as he could see his alien? It would be far too easy for the alien to simply use and abuse Dib and then leave him. Dib wouldn't be able to fight well. He wanted so badly to believe that Zim could... like him... Maybe if he just worked hard enough.

Was this going to be his end?

'Ignore the fear. Dont show fear. Be brave. th-this... This, is me, without fear.'

No matter how he reasoned with himself, or what he chanted, his worries would not be assuaged. It REALLY didn't help that the last time he'd used that sentence, 'this is me without fear' had been before the Irken had silently pursued him all over the school before pinning him to a cold metal floor in what Dib had guessed was the heater room. The boy still remembered much too clearly how it had felt to be stalked and caught, have his lungs ripped out, and to look up through the pain into the eyes of a merciless, violent, intentfull monster.

The idea of maybe, possibly, having someone who cared about him, was so sweet, so heavenly, Dib longed for it desperately. But he knew it would be much more likely that Zim would just torture him.

He knew Zim wasn't truly capable of love. Irkens couldn't be. He knew them well. Zim showed possible signs, Dib wanted to believe it... But he really, truly, scientifically, was sure they were incapable of real love.

Dib continued to stare at his screen.

~•~

On the fourth day after Dib's trip to the irken's base and Zim's disappearance, the human had actually gone all the way back to the unnatural looking house, up to Zim's door, but no one answered to his knocking, doorbell-ringing, and shouting. After sitting on the front step for a full, loyal hour, Dib finally began to feel stupid and had gone back home.

Where was Zim?

What was going on?

Dib hadn't glimpsed him in days. He was sure it was making him sick. Zim knew didn't he? He was doing this on purpose wasn't he? Dammit! Where was that monster? Did he really think he could just leave like this? No! NO! Dib wouldn't let him... But what... What was going on?

Where was Zim?

And what power did Dib actually have to force him to come back?

He was so vulnerable and needy and desperate.

Where was Zim?

Zim

Zim

Zim...

~•~

The fifth day, the human practically gave a loud squeak of sheer excitement when the -beautiful- creature at last returned into the hellish classroom.

Zim half walked, half stomped in, looking heatedly irritated, and ruffled. His expression said he didn't know why, in the name of the tallest, he had chosen to come where he was now- he had better things to be doing.

The invader snorted angrily and glared when Ms Bitters briefly addressed him, telling him he was late, and would receive homework due to his absence.

The invader thumped himself down into his desk and started staring irritated and blankly at the floor.

Across the room, Dib was sitting strait and vigilant, his vibrant gold eyes greedily watching Zim's every move, drinking him up yet again.

'There he is. There he is! Zim... Zim's back..."

Openly the boy stared. He began to wonder if passing notes to the Irken would be okay. He needed to speak with Zim. He wanted to say something.

The alien conqueror was slouched in his seat, glaring and frowning and not doing one thing.

Then, for a moment, Zim actually did look up, across the room, at the skinny black-haired boy, as if to check that the one he wanted to see was even there. His expression spoke very clearly. Dib's eyes widened.

'Man alive, I've never seen him so tired and disconnected.'

Dib found no trouble in maintaining eye contact, face attempting to show concern, but mostly just stareing.

His desperation and longing was obvious.

Zim watched the earthling for a minute, then turned away. He lay his chin on his arms, resting himself on his desk, and seemed to almost fall asleep. Never before had he been so... Not-paranoid. Dib was vested but still facinated.

'He looks so tired. I've never seen him so tired.' Dib didn't take his eyes off the alien for the rest of the class.

'I wonder if you know how much I missed you...'

The jolting alarm that signaled lunch time, had the majority of the class bolting for the door, screaming like happy animals.

Dib stayed to watch how Zim sighed, then how the green being dragged himself up and out of his desk, and then stood there, lifelessly.

The alien turned and looked at Dib again. And the boy blinked in recognition, attentive.

For a moment Zim thought of saying something. He watched the earthling as if trying to look through Dib and into the boy's mind. Then he frowned, and simply turned away, heading for the cafeteria. Dib quickly followed, pestered by a concerned curiosity for what the heck was going on.

The human boy walked down the hall, behind and beside an alien who was dragging his feet, looking confused and less-then-aware of his surroundings. Dib was well within the five foot personal space bubble the invader usually enforced with vigilance.

"Zim?"

Pained, defensive, narrowed, fake eyes looked back for a second.

"Go away. You stink." The words were mumbled, lacking luster, emphasis, and drama. Zim's zim-ness seemed to have run off screaming and flailing without its host.

Dib grew more concerned with each loud step down the hallway. For a moment he looked around, eyes searching, quickly reassuring himself that, as he'd hoped, everyone had gone on ahead to get in line for food, and had left the two freaks long behind. Dib and Zim were alone. The hall was empty and quiet except for them.

Dib made up his mind and hurried right over to Zim, raising an arm, reaching out towards him. His fingertips had barely brushed one of Zim's hard, pink shoulder gaurds, when the Irken whirled around and suddenly shot his own arm out, striking Dib in the chest, hard. It was a mean, adrenaline backed punch and it nearly knocked Dib's breath out. The human stumbled backwards from the impact with a shout.

"Aug!...Geez Zim..."

When he managed to look back at the Irken from his doubled over position, Dib paused, face falling blank. He saw an expression of fearful startlement that he'd never seen on Zim before. Contact covered eyes were wide and his mouth was a strait line, his body was stiff enough that the human fancied he could see the signs of the extra-terrestrial's breathing and pulse. Zim's hands were in shaky fists. His posture was defensive. He looked like a frightened animal.

He suddenly looked very small, and almost vulnerable, in the large, dirty, cracked and aggressive hallway.

Quickly Zim's eyes darted side to side, away from Dib, and he tried to recompose himself and calm down, shifting from foot to foot before swiftly turning away.

"Do NOT touch me. Ever."

Dib frowned in confusion as Zim stomped around the corner into the cafe. The young earthling knew it would be hard for his former enemy to trust him- he himself was far from trusting Zim, even if he was obsessed with him, however, all he'd done was reach out. Did the Irken really spook so easily? No, he'd never reacted that way before... Dib had never tried to touch him before though, except to hurt him in some way.

Why HAD he gone to touch Zim anyway? Now that Dib thought about it, he hadn't the slightest idea.

The boy started walking again, trying to catch up to Zim. He remembered something the Irken had said, 'The only touch I've ever experienced was painful'. Was that some cultural Irken thing? They didn't have families, friends, probably not even mates. ... Did Zim have a *fear* of touch? Dib bit his lip, eyes widening slightly as he mused, paying little attention to the tray of school-provided-'food' he grabbed up off the counter, as he went to take a seat, maneuvering through the seemingly mindless crowd of bodies.

Zim was at a lone table across the room, emotionlessly poking at his food. For the rest of the day, the invader continued to be depressed and rather out-of-sorts, and refused to look at his rival. Dib felt like he was being punished, and wondered regretfully what he'd done wrong.

Somehow, Dib made it through the day and night without talking to Zim any more then the incident in the hallway.

~~•~~

'The earthling must want what he asked for very badly... He's actually leaving me alone more or less. He hasn't even brought up his... Or... The... Letter. And Zim's answer.'

Zim scowled across his living room, at the black, inactive TV screen.

'Normally Gir would be watching the angry monkey show right now...'

He sat on his brightly colored couch, with his legs pulled up to his chest, hugging a large pillow to himself. For the first night in a long time, he had not been running all around his base every second, carrying out order after order, making weapons, fixing equipment, teleporting things back and forth, getting things from his race to work on, giving them what they'd demanded.

Work, work, work.

He had not been contacted at all for two days strait. The commands had stopped suddenly. While Zim was afraid of what that might mean, he was also relieved. For the first night in a long while, he hadn't cried.

No bullying, no insults, no threats. No other Irkens portaled themselves into his base to steal from him, and to hurt him however they liked for their amusement, simply because they were taller then him and snapping under the stress of the falling empire.

Zim had gotten to go back to school that day. He got to see Dib again...

It had felt like ... Too long.. Since he'd seen that boy.

But when he did see him, he didn't understand what he felt, and he just became angry. He wished that hadn't happened. He wished he'd paid more attention to Dib, maybe talked to him.

He probably would have, if the boy hadn't made that one simple mistake of trying to touch the invader.

Zim shuddered, feeling sick and light headed, small and afraid, angry, violated, frustrated, violent, begrudging, furious, wanting to rip the boy into shreds. He didn't understand why. He didn't understand feelings. They were too complex. What he didn't understand frightened him, what frightened him made him angry and defensive.

Not to mention he was an Irken.

His species evolution was that of a predator, a carnivore. He had an inborn desire for the thrill of hunting, of using his claws and fangs for their original purpose. There was something about the thought of Dib squirming, crying out, covered in blood, that made him feel giddy. He wasn't sure if that was good.

He didn't think he REALLY wanted to slice the human into pieces.

What was it that he felt around Dib? It changed his disposition immediately. He didn't like it.

Zim sighed as he stared across the room again.

After school he'd gone to the store and bought a delicate looking, beautiful, purple vase with a winding red design. It sat on a table near the door, with Dib's flowers inside, growing happily, with plenty of water for nourishment. Zim didn't understand the bittersweet sensation he got from merely looking at it, but it made him smile, even though his eyes teared up. What was he feeling?

Stupid, weak emotions...

But perhaps he should talk to Dib soon...

~•~

Many buildings away, a boy watched the Irken from a screen, a hidden camera looking down at the small, tired green form from a corner in the ceiling.

'He's all curled up. He looks sad. He's hugging a pillow.' Dib took in every detail and cocked his head, smiling a little.

'he looks really cute.'

Without thinking he reached out, fingers brushing the screen. He bit his lower lip in frustration.

He wanted to touch Zim. What did... What did that pretty green skin feel like? Something about it made it look soft and smooth. Would the irken's body be warm like a human's? Dib imagined so, but, maybe just a little cooler, Zim seemed to overheat easily, and was obviously used to more frigid temperatures.

Zim was sitting there, hugging his pillow.

Dib wanted to be there. The Irken wanted comfort, he just didn't want to admit it. He felt pressured to comfort the Irken.

He wondered what it would be like to hold the lithe, thin form close against his own. His heartbeat quickened and he swallowed.

After several minutes the invader stood, put the pillow back against the arm of the couch, and walked out of the camera's view.

Dib frowned in disappointment and near-agony.

Oh well. He'd bought more cameras recently. He'd have to sneak in and install them. Zim wouldn't like that one bit though... So...

He'd just have to be very careful. Maybe the next time Zim left his house...

Maybe he'd search around and figure out what was going on.


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING! This chapter is rated, uhhhh, high teen, for... Uhh... Dib being his usually creepy stalker self andgoing too far/Zim nudity? More or less. ZADR!**

**Kayla; Yes, you should get an account! :D And thank you, I think I sort of know what you're talking about, but tips would still be appreciated. I seem to do best with simple tips that tell me exactly what to do -cause I'm stupid? XD -**

**Leddybug; Yes, I'm afraid I'm not very nice to Gir am I? ._.' I just have a hard time writting for him. He's completely random, but still has a personality. Most people seem to either just use quotes from the show, or make him sound like a twelve year old with two much suger who's trying to be funny and failing. I don't wanna do that... So I kill him? :P I don't know. XD It does seem to be one of few ways to knock Zim off his high horse and get him to feel sorrow and maybe understand people better. He's close to Gir, like... An annoying little brother, sort of, so he's one of the few things Zim holds dear enough to be effected by. Also yes, there will be some preditor-Zim, but I'm hoping to save most of that lovely creepiness for 'Prisoner of Nightmares'.**

**InsomniaticFrenchToast; Dib's obsession is VERY creepy. ;) And I'm afraid it's going to get more so. He is one poor, neglected little boy with a rather diseased, thoroughly consumed and obsessed mind. It's part of what makes him such a fun character. And you're right- in case it isn't clear, yes, he has feelings for Zim, but not exactly 'love'. Not yet. At the moment it's mainly centered on his need for attention and obsessive compulsive clinginess to an alien who; while he denies this; he thinks is highly attractive in his inhuman, foriegnity. He just needs to be close to someone he can talk to and spend time with and do things with; he's NEVER had that before. A single freind would be a great big chunk of heaven to him.**

**To everyone else, thanks for the love and encouragement! Please keep up the reviews! :D**

**~~~•~~~**

The alien conqueror was late again the next day. Dib whipped his head around the moment the classroom door was slammed open by the little green person, and the earthling grinned, trying not to laugh out loud. He wasn't sure if the stiffled light giggles flitting around in his chest, were caused more by the irken's current upsetted looks, or his own lack of sanity.

Zim's hair was ruffled, sticking out everywhere, fluffed, spiked, and knotted, all accidentally. The artificial 'wig' substance was spilling down the back of his neck and down his face, partially covering his eyes, which were encaged in darker rings of skin.

All in all, he looked a little bit better then yesterday. Maybe whatever was wrong was improving?

Zim had come to school again. That was what mattered. Dib wondered cheerfully whether his obsession's absence was finally over.

The boy considered the dark rings around the alien optics with both scientific curiosity, and unhealthy awe. Irkens got that too? Was it from lack of sleep, like with a human? But Irkens didn't need sleep so that couldn't be right. Maybe exhaustion... Hmmm...

The fabulously bright red uniform was wrinkled and seemed weathered, less striking. The same went for the invader's skin tight black pants, and his gloves and boots had lost their polished-until-raw look.

Dib cocked his head, watching every sharp yet fluid movement as the Irken swung into his chair, once again ignoring the scolding he got from their seemingly vampiric teacher. A minute or two passed in empty normalicy.

Suddenly anxious, Zim threw a pointed glance across the room, seeing Dib, right in his chair where he belonged, watching the alien stiffly yet dreamily. The Irken smiled in an amused way, giving an almost darkly pleased look, in response to the male's presence, before settling back in his seat, reaching around himself to open and feel through a small compartment in his pak, soon pulling out a notebook and a very expensive, fancy looking pen.

The Irken tapped one end of the pen on his chin, then began scribbling something in his notebook. Dib's eyes widened in interest and determination. At last, Zim was doing something. Maybe even something worth watching! Compulsively, he pulled his legs up so his feet braced on his seat, getting himself into a kneeling position on his chair for more hight, and leaned over, holding onto his desk to keep from falling right out. He was trying in a very conspicuous mannor, to see across the classroom and decipher what sort of drawings or letters were being formed through the black ink staining and flowing into the white paper from the decorative, shiny pen.

It looked like the alien was writing in his native script; lots of tiny, curving, sharp shapes and hard, solid blocks that needed to be shaded in.

Dib leaned over further, squinting, taking one hand off his desk to adjust his glasses. It was almost impossible to see from this distance.

"Get outta my space creep!"

The kid seated beside Dib suddenly grabbed his attention by snatching a firm fist full of the black haired boy's shirt collar, and pulling/pushing him to the side and away from them. Dib tried not to lose his balance as he was twisted sideways in his chair, but a shove against his back had him falling out of his desk to land on hard tile.

Zim had heard the kid snapping at Dib, but he didn't pay attention until he heard the judicial thud. At that his head snapped up, eyes wide, to see what happened. Unexpected anger bubbled fast and strong in his midsection.

Several kids laughed and called the young human names, and Ms. Bitters icily told him to get back in his desk where he belonged. Dib just drew in an awkward breath, blinking several times to get his senses back, as he leaned forward, grabbing the edge of the chair to hoist himself back into place.

A soft noise made him pause and adjust his glasses while looking around confused. It wasn't in any way related the taunting snickers of his peers as he sat back into place, more like the sound of animalistic snarling. His eyes found Zim and stuck, as they always seemed to; about everything.

-Dib had a hard time denying the idea that his staring might have something to do with a not-quite-scientific interest in the alien's 'perfect, and superior' body.-

Was that Zim?... It was, wasn't it? No human could make that noise, but it still seemed... odd, to hear it from Zim. Only on the rarest and most threatening occasions, did Zim resort to 'primitive animalistic noises', and that generally pertained to things like grunts, muffled annoying whines, and other vocalizations that humans were perfectly capable of. This was a growl.

The extra terrestrial had a vicious glare jumping from person to person in the classroom. Retractable claws were straining the tips of Zim's three digit gloves as he griped his desk with strength to murder. His mouth was a strait line, but Dib could tell his teeth were gritted.

Human filthies! Dib was so superior to all of them and they dared treat him like that? This planet was messed up. Zim wanted to strangle them all one by one. It might help his stress.

That growl had obviously originated from Zim.

Dib cocked his head, studying all the more... 'merciless' bits of the Irken conqueror. Long strong limbs for running, grabbing, holding captives suffocatingly still. Lots of pearl white fangish teath, delicate looking little black claws that slid out into longer, curved talons. That deep, throaty rumbling threatening snarl.

Dib had theorized for a while that, despite fizzling on contact with every earth meat Dib had thrown at him so far, Irkens showed signs of a preditorial ancestry.

It seemed unnervingly, disturbingly thrilling to the boy. He squirmed a little in his seat, somehow feeling ever more captivated by the creature of fantasy and science fiction.

How long had Irkens been evolving for? How many millions of years beyond the human race? They seemed so close to perfection, yet they still held these little things from their primitive past.

Just how much animalistic carnivore traits HAD they retained?

It was... interesting. Mind consuming, for Dib.

Zim seemed simply soaking in an unnatural beauty and dangerous, jerky grace.

The insults and chuckles and whispers over Dib's fall had stopped, everyone had their attentions back to the front of the class. Simple minds, short attention spans.

Zim looked over at Dib again, seeming perhaps slightly pleased in some way, satisfied, before going back to whatever he was putting in his notebook.

Dib wondered obsessively what Zim was doing, but common sense kept him in chains, restrained from leaning over the kid next to him again and trying to peek.

Just like yesterday; the bell rang, the kids ran out screaming. Zim sighed, finished the last scraps of what he was doing, then snapped his book shut before a certain boy who'd dashed across the room, got a chance to see inside. Dib pouted where he stood, right behind Zim, leaning into his space obnoxiously, hands on the back of the irken's chair. His eyes had barely taken in a symbol or two of what master-plan the irken had created on the paper. Maybe the boy could snatch the note away when Zim wasn't watching?

With a huff, and a quick distasteful frown in Dib's direction, as if sensing the human's thoughts, Zim turned himself away from the teen, swung his arm around behind himself, and thrust the book inside a compartment in his pak, snapping it shut with emphasis. Dangit.

After that the alien stood up quick but stiffly, twisting on his heals, and he marched out of the classroom. He didn't bother to even look at Dib. The human frowned, nervous verging on hurt.

The Irken had always insisted on his superiority, and that Dib was below him, unworthy, like dirt. But as long as the alien looked him in the eye, ranted, and fought with him, even showed an occasional calm friendliness such as letting him borrow something once a year on high interest... Dib had never put weight on his supposed 'inferiority' as a human. Now that he was being ignored, it seemed Zim had put some weight on his words. It felt awful to be unnoticed by the one person whom he'd always counted on for attention. Predictably, he hurried after the invader like a well trained dog on a leash.

Zim heard his rushed footsteps as the boy caught up to him and grinned for a hidden second. Exactly as planned. The Dib was quite pathetically dependable due to his neediness for attention.

The extra terrestrail had had nothing to do for a while. No transmissions since when they'd stopped coming in suddenly a few nights ago. He needed something to do now.

Perhaps... If Dib was a good boy... Zim might try a little... Experiment.

That was what it would be to him. Why would he bother studying something as complicated as human 'love' if not for amusement and self serving intrigue? It certainly wouldn't help his mission. It would be a... A side project.

And for now he'd just be starting to look into it a tiny bit, when he felt like it, to see if he'd enjoy it at all.

When Zim thought about it, he'd also prefer to keep Dib more or less sane if he could. A vegetable-brained arch nemesis could be killed by just pushing them out of a chair. Not very exciting at all. Yes, if Dib wanted this 'love' with him, and needed to be with him for his sanity's sake, like he'd insisted... Then... Maybe.

Zim smirked triumphantly to himself, expressive eyes reflecting his deep level of thought, as he put a finger to his mouth.

Hmmmmm, indeed! He'd follow up his maybe with a light yes, do some research, all just for something to do, and the learning experience, not to mention he was curious how the boy would be effected. The Dib was so obedient already. It would be interesting, Zim thought, to be in a position of even more control over him.

If the idea of the relationship became disturbing to the Irken, he could sever it and walk away at any time right? Have everything go back how it was- have everything go his way, either way, right?

For now though, he'd have a plan to work on... Later. When he felt like it.

The cracked up, sickly pale and darkened brown hallway echoed the footsteps of the two as once again they'd been left behind in the lunch rush. Zim seemed to be leading, with Dib just a step or two behind him, but the alien wasn't really watching where he was going.

Dib cleared his throat. At the sound, Zim's thoughts popped and he almost turned to look at the human, but then decided to keep acting as unaware of Dib's presence as possible, see how that affected his future slave. He continued to stare strait ahead, and hold down the paranoia telling him to keep an eye on the boy only a step behind him and to his left. His proud little inhuman chin was up in the air, eyes appearing bored with everything in the world, lower lip out in a pout, trying to appear depressed like before, yet still dignified.

It actually looked pretty dumb. Dib had a hard time not laughing or asking Zim jokingly if he was high or something.

In truth, the idea of possibly starting this new side-mission had the invader feeling much more happy and alive and full of Zim-ness and purpose then before. The depression was fading a little at last, with his mind off his shattered life and empire.

"So... How have you been?" Dib's voice had a shy hesitance, trying to find some way to start a conversation, but immediately feeling that what he'd chosen to say was dumb and condemning himself for it. The boy fell back a step or two, staring at his feet, fumbling his hands into his pockets.

Zim spent several seconds considering whether to answer with a half truth or complete lie, and how to make himself sound most uncaring, and still more or less ignore Dib.

He shrugged his thin, almost femininely fragile shoulders, and grunted out a little 'meh' noise.

Dib's eyebrows went up and pinched together and he looked unhappily to the side. Why was Zim ignoring him? Did he do something wrong recently?

...

Was this all about him asking for a relationship? His face warmed up a degree or two. That had been almost a week ago now. It was starting to fade from his regular thoughts. It seemed like an unspeakable stupidity of the past. Zim seemed to want little to do with Dib now, after that... But he'd left that note in his locker! He had to be considering it! Zim wouldn't hesitate to say a very flat, angry, insulting 'no' if he wanted to- and he kindof had when Dib initially asked... But then, apparently, he'd changed his mind?

That... That note WAS from Zim right?

Dib had an epiphany of horror, that maybe someone at school was playing a wicked, wretched joke on him, but then he tossed the thought away. The letter had been one word, incredibly spartanic.

Someone would have to know the two of them incredibly well, AND know of Dib's visit to the irken's base the day before.

That ruled out every person on earth...

Except...

Gaz. And Dib wouldn't put it past her to do something like that. She seemed to know everything about everyone.

He wasn't sure what purpose meddling in his life on this level would serve her though.

No, the note was from Zim. It had to be.

At least he wanted to believe it was.

The Irken studied his fingers as he thought, still walking down the memorized route of several hallways, almost to his destination, going at a slow, leisurely pace. He still hadn't the slightest interest in the deadly 'food' of the planet, but to appear normal he still had to at least show up in the cafeteria every school day.

Zim was feeling Dib's eyes on him from behind, something he was absurdly used to yet annoyed and uncomfortable with at the same time.

His pak-brain was still focused on the human's question for some reason. How HAD he been? A very vague inquiry, but Zim knew how this piece of the boy's culture worked. People said, "I'm okay." without thinking, unless they were having an absolutely terrible day and were very honest, in which case they complained away to the person who'd asked. Zim had been having an absolutely terrible few MONTHS, and he was a very honest soldier... However he was also pretending to ignore Dib, for no reason whatsoever except that he felt like screwing around with Dib's head to relieve some stress. So he answered 'meh.' How incredibly clever of him! At least he thought it was clever.

Zim thought everything he did was clever. When it wasn't- it was someone else's fault.

However his current attempt to ignore the earthling didn't stop him from beginning to wonder how Dib had been lately. Zim had seen so little of him, he'd been so busy. What did the boy do when his alien wasn't around to bother and stalk? Did the lack of Zimness affect the male's sanity like Dib had mentioned? Curiousity won the irken over. Without turning to look over his shoulder, Zim questioned;

"And how has Dib been?"

The boy jerked his head up, startled. He really hadn't expected the self-centered alien to return such a more or less caring, or at least customary, inquiry. Especially not after giving such an uninterested answer.

A light smile flickered on the Dib's lips.

"I've been bored as hell, ready to pull my own hair out."

Zim raised his eyebrows without looking back at the human. He'd never heard someone answer quite that way before. And why would Dib want to pull his nice, fluffy head fur out? Strange little eartheniod...

The boy wondered if it would be out of place for him to add how desperately he'd missed Zim- or did the invader already know?

When they reached the cafeteria, they somehow split from each other again, without thought, thanks to habbit. Dib sat beside his sister, and Zim sat alone at his table in the corner, poking his food with a white plastic fork in such a forlorn way that Dib wanted to go sit by him. For some reason though, he couldn't make himself get up and walk over. The teen just wound up arguing quietly with himself all through lunch about it.

Recess was brief, and Zim made himself scarce that day. Even his nemesis, who'd become so perfect at hounding him down, following some invisible trail or instinct to the alien, was unable to find Zim; though in all fairness he didn't really look much. Nervous hope and embarrassment were still forcing him to give Zim space, at least until his all-altering decision about their relationship was made more clear.

Was he still even considering it? Or had it faded from the invader's flawed memory?

Either way, Dib didn't see much more of Zim for quite a while.

~~~•~~~

At the end of the day, the roles were reversed.

Even though Zim tried to look bored, and conceal his intent as he wandered around aimlessly, -invaders needed no one! No one!- he was in truth, seeking out the earthling. He had nothing important to say to Dib, just wondering, not hoping of course, just wondering,

"Really, I do not care... Really..."

if the boy intended to stalk/walk him home.

But now, to Zim's mild anger and deeper disappointment, he was the one who couldn't find the other. Had the boy already gone home? How upsetting. He thought he'd trained the smelly mammal better then that...

~~~•~~~

No. Dib hadn't gone home. He had gone to Zim's home, with his school backpack full of tiny spy cams he'd gotten from his dad's work.

He wanted to finish his little job before the Irken returned, when he was as unnoticeable as possible. If he wanted a relationship with Zim, it would best if the alien didn't know of his stalking rituals.

But he couldn't stop. He needed Zim, every waking moment...

Whenever Zim left his base, all security went to the main entrances, and anything really important. The rest of the monitoring became less efficient by a long stretch.

Dib knew this, among thousands of other little tips for breaking in to his enemy's lair. He'd become quite the pro at it actually.

While it still racked his nerves and made his heart beat heavy with the anticipational fear of getting caught, Dib managed to place every spy cam without detection. It was barely even something to tell about, it seemed too easy.

~~~•~~~

Dib got back home, the same way he got into Zim's place; without a single interesting event.

Gaz had been home for a while. She was watching TV and didn't return his 'hello'.

The boy was used to this, but still waited sadly for a second or two to see if he'd be noticed. Gaz ignored him, just like Zim had at school. Melancholy, he turned away and left her alone.

By now it was supper time. Dib put together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for himself, then, same as every day, went strait up to his room, grabbing his laptop off its table, plopping down on his bed, and opening up the camera feed from Zim's house. He had a minute or two to lay himself down comfortably and eat a bite or two from his sandwich, before Zim came home. The alien was notably late, carrying shopping bags which he dropped lazily on the entrance room floor. Dib wrote this down on a sheet of paper he had handy, and tried to zoom in and see what Zim had bought himself. The bags were labeled from a home improvement and construction project store Dib knew, which meant tools and supplies like metal and wood bits, odd little rubber things, nails, screws, bolts and the like. Zim was making something and apparently needed earth technology. Strange. Usually he bought everything he needed through Irken networks and assembled everything with his own machinery. Was he running out of supplies and improvising earth stuff?

The alien stood in the center of the room and sighed, looking around in complete boredom. He walked a few hesitant steps toward the kitchen, then sped up slightly, apparently having decided what to do with himself.

All the while, wide, curious, amber eyes watched his every move, their owner laying on his stomach on his bed, never glancing away from the screen.

Zim passed in and out of view of one or two cameras, on his way down into and throughout his lab. To Dib's surprise and great interest, the camera in a new room he'd just found, showed the door opening and a certain someone stepping in. Zim had gone strait there. Wonderful! Dib wouldn't have to wait long at all in discovering what the area's purpose was! Dib fidgeted in interest, taking another large, quick bite out of his sandwich.

The room was comparatively small, and very bright and clean looking. There was a counter, a few doors for small cupboards, and a place with lots of tiny holes in the floor and in the ceiling above it, like ducts for some substance to come from or go into.

Zim walked strait over towards the counter, then reached down, grabbed the edge of his uniform,

And in one swift, overly simple movement,

Zim yanked the garment over his head and off, tossing it on the counter, now shirtless.

Dib almost choked slightly on his food, feeling as though some large weight had been dropped inside his chest, or something were squeezing him. He... Hadn't quite expected that... He'd never even seen Zim in a different outfit, let alone shirtless. He swallowed heavily, and he felt a strange tingle of... Was it shock, or a guilty sort of 'less-then-good, I-shouldn't-be-watching' anticipation, when Zim reached down to tug off his pants as well.

The alien's anatomy and biology had always been a facination of Dib's, but seeing him naked... Somehow that seemed... Different. It shouldn't have been. He should have felt normal 'scientific curiousity', but something else was coming in to play.

Dib felt strange. Not quite ill, not quite light-headed, and much too thoroughly interested, unable to look away, heart beating faster and heavier then before. As his cheeks reddened, he came to realize the situation more realisticly, and take in the somehow mindblowing fact that he was really seeing Zim... Uncovered.

Zim had removed all his clothes, left them in a pile on the counter. The alien was completely naked.

The fault-less expense of soft looking green skin, the light curve of his sides- non-masculine but barely enough to seem particularly feminine either. Zim's body was the farthest thing from muscular. He was thin, but not starving, and had such a deceivingly fragile look to him. Small, almost bony shoulders, his hips were small as well, but curved enough to be noticeable, and draw the male to stare, helplessly interested, at the irken's pelvis area.

"He has nothing... Visible... That a human would have in that area... I wonder how ...different, he is..."

The boy's face was flushed red, and he bit his lip, some unknown feeling pulsing invisibly and silently through him.

Seeing Zim, of all people, naked, should not have been as satisfying as it seemed to be for the teenager's hungry over-abundance of long ignored hormones.

The alien walked across the room towards the place where there were holes in the floor and ceiling and pressed a button in the wall. Dib's wide eyes followed the movement and traced up the alien's legs. A pinkish purple gas seeped up from the floor, to be sucked into the ceiling vent.

Was this how the Irken cleaned himself? Like how humans took bathes, except instead of scrubbing with soap and water he just had to stand in some thick vapor?

For once, Dib couldn't care less about such scientific questions.

His mind was just focused on how very, very naked Zim was, because that seemed much, much more important right now for some reason, and he'd never felt this way before but it was a very good, tingly, exciting sensation and he was thoroughly enjoying himself, not really stopping to think, compulsive, taking it all in. His breathing rate had changed. His eyes were fixed, roaming all over on the beautiful alien who he'd known was attractive, but hadn't imagined could be so unspeakably more so when undressed.

Gorgeous red eyes, and easily breakable, long, sleek, cutely perked antenna, the compact, shorter, more spherical ribcage, the inhumanly thin limbs with their pretty little claws. It was inhuman, so wasnt it... Not very good... That Dib found these things so appealing? What was that called? Wasnt there a name for- yeah, Xeno... Xenophiliac? That didn't sound like a very desireable label.

Still the boy watched. Dib licked his lips, squirming, uncomfortable in a nice new way.

He wasn't sure when fascination turned into a lusting desire, but it had, and sometime around when his wonderings shifted towards more and more touchy-feely subjects, Dib finally seemed to realize what exactly, in blunter terms, he was doing.

He was watching Zim while the alien was naked.

A sensation of awful guilt flushed through him and quickly spoiled his enjoyment of Zim's sexy, exposedness. In a sudden moment of decision, he slammed his computer shut and off, swallowing thickly, having forgotten his supper entirely, leaving the sandwich. He'd lost his appetite.

That could not have been what it was. That couldn't have happened. If Zim had stripped down to skin, Dib wouldn't have sat and watched... Would he have?

But he did.

And if he did, it would have been purely for science, right?

It hadn't been.

And watching a naked ALIEN had turned him on. He was... left with a lot to think about.

Wasng that unnatural? Wrong?

He knew he needed Zim, and... Liked... Him. But attraction... LUST, that was something else, something he'd never felt before and knew nothing of and had no one to ask for advice about. Even if his dad would bother talking to him about such 'interests' and 'feelings,' wouldn't the fact that Zim was an alien scramble that up a little?

He decided to go to bed and try to sleep that night. He'd lost interest in spying.

That had been just too unexpected. Over the line. His observing of Zim shouldn't have gone that far.

He felt awful... And he couldn't get the images out of his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, so, this chapter was finished/edited in a bit of a hurry. I had to get it up so I would feel the nice feeling of progress, that would help me get back into writting fanfics and not abandon my stuff and lose all my wonderful... What shall I call you? Followers? Watchers?... Just 'reviewers'... Maybe I'll call you my pineapples? :D How about that? I like pineapples...**

**And you can probably tell that I'm dead tired. Its mid-night, and my life is quite busy again... I'm uploading this and then getting some much needed sleep. Please point out any errors I missed. Constructive critisim is highly appreciated. If you read, review, or I'll send clowns to stab you, okay? :3**

**~~~•~~~**

When Dib slowly and softly woke up to early light coming in through his strange windows in bars, he felt better then he had in a very long time. It had been too long since he'd last gotten some sleep. He'd needed that.

The glowing blue numbers on his digital clock said he had time to spare, so he just lay there in his comfy, warm bed for a few more minutes, mind and body feeling hazy, and comfy, before he finally sat up and stretched.

He rubbed his eyes, and looked around his room of dark black and blues, like the colors of bruises that were always present somewhere on his body, and immediately, he saw his laptop where he'd set it on the floor beside his bed.

Guilt and shame and abnormal thoughts of Zim began to tickle his mind, but he shoved them out. It was too early. Not now.

Ignoring it wouldn't make it go away though. Dib wasn't one for such... Self gratification, as looking at, well, porn. He'd never done anything like that, and he couldn't get it out of his head. After he'd realized what he'd done, he'd felt absolutely condemned.

However, after his good night's sleep, his lack of judgement from last night was fading slightly from memory, only a faint reminder in the back of his mind and the now more muted sting of self-punishment. That was how he planned to make it stay. He intended to leave it at that and forget it ever happened.

He would just shut off that particular camera's feed from his computer, maybe even find a way to remove it from the alien's base altogether.

It had been an accident. He hadn't known that was Zim's grooming bay. It was just an embarrassing little accident.

And since he'd never experienced 'stimulation' in that certain way before, he could even choose to fake innocence at the idea of being attracted to Zim, and say he didn't know WHAT he'd felt while watching.

-He LIKED Zim, very, very much...more then a normal friend, maybe, he'd never had friends. But... Attraction... Seemed... Overboard.-

It was scientific fascination, just as it had always been and was more or less made to stay.

There. Whole problem solved. Denial sure made things easy!

There was no lust, he told himself, just... A desire for a... 'close, cuddly' semi-romantic friendship...

Even that could be considered pretty wrong to many people. Best not to push it. Not yet.

What day was it? Thursday? Friday?

The weekend was coming. He really hoped that maybe he and Zim could go do something together Saturday or Sunday. Just hanging out and talking or something would be very nice.

A date...

No. At least... he wouldn't call it that...

But a rose by any other name is still a rose.

Dib smiled to himself, humming cheerfully as he finally got up to get ready for school.

He felt quite good after getting some sleep. His problems quickly faded right out of mind.

His weekday mornings were a routine; Shower, get dressed, brush teeth, make hair look cool, check to ensure he had everything needed in his backpack, eat a bit (not enough) of breakfast, as quickly as possible before he absolutely had to leave.

Dib didn't take the buss. He'd stopped doing that as soon as it was legally acceptable for him to walk. It made getting to school less of an ordeal of torture and pain at the hands of his peers. Gaz didn't like that rumbling, yellow, sardine-can of a vehicle either, she complained about the noise and jostling and annoying people, so it suited both of them perfectly well, to see each other to school. It gave Dib a chance to talk to his sister, even if she rarely ever spoke back or listened.

For some reason, despite her lack of interest, Dib ALWAYS made sure to talk with her about something. He wasn't sure if he was talking for the sake of communication, or just trying very hard to be a good big brother and see if he could get her to cheer up a bit.

Dib knew she rarely cared about him, and often acted annoyed by his mere presence, but that was how she responded to everything, and everyone. Gaz didn't hate him. She was just troubled. Dib was too, but in different ways.

Their lives were hard on them. It had changed them. Dib had grown needy and fearful and clingy; desperate. Gaz sealed herself off, toughened up, and ceased to care about anything. Dib was pretty sure she'd had some level of depression since she was a toddler. And he knew what depression was like. At times he worried for her will to live. Dib was one of plenty of teens who had mildly considered the option of suicide- more then once, though never too seriously. Now and then, when things were really bad, he'd still wonder about the concept of death, and killing one's self, from afar, but he'd promised himself to avoid even REALLY considering the action, and had the self-discipline to hold to that. He just wished he knew how Gaz was, and how to support her. He wanted to do a good job in his role as her brother.

In short, the Membrane children had a terrible father, Dib refused to be like him. He did his very best to make up for their parents negligence with the only thing he was particularly good at; talking. Lots and lots and lots of talking, on, and on, and on, and...

So it was strange, that today, Dib seemed to be off in his own world. He said nothing half-way to school, when Gaz finally noticed and began to get suspicious or curious, and gave in.

"You're awfully quiet."

The boy deadpanned, losing whatever he was thinking about as he fell back into reality.

"Oh, yeah, I suppose I have been huh?"

"Thinking about Zim again?" She seemed to scoff, but it wasn't very clear.

"Mm hmm." He nodded, then went quiet again. Gaz raised her eyebrows and actually bothered to look up at him.

"He must be planning something pretty big if you're too worried to rant like an idiot about it."

"No... It's not that..."

There was another pause. The violet haired girl looked off to the side. She didn't care for this quiet. It wasn't normal and she hated stepping out of her comfort zone.

"So, are you guys still enemies, or have you finally confessed your undying, creepy-stalker love to him?"

Dib paled. Was she teasing, or did she know something?

"It's not like THAT!" He whined, fighting for something to say. Gaz seemed to get a little more interested now that Dib was so defensive, and she made eye contact as he stuttered, her expression appearing unimpressed.

"We're just... Having a truce... Seeing if we can work out being... Friends."

Gaz didn't buy it, and gave her older sibling a 'get real' look.

"So, in other words, you're... Are you guys... dating?"

"No!"

"...Have you asked him out?"

"No! What on earth gave you these ideas?"

Gaz smirked deviously. "Because I think it's pretty funny with how weird you both are, and it kinda makes sense; your a teenager now, plus whenever you look at Zim it's like you're trying to mentally rape him."

Dib's face went from pale to red.

"I do NOT!"

"You don't what?" Gaz grinned wider. She was having fun with this now.

"You KNOW what! I don't look at him like that!..."

He turned away, before murmuring, out of worried curiosity;

"Do I?"

"Like I said, you seriously look like you're planning to rape him. Or at least undress him or do SOMETHING I won't wanna see to him... Something baaaaad."

Dib whined in frustration.

"But it's not LIKE that..."

"What is it like?" Gaz had stopped grinning quite so much, but still seemed amused, hands in her pockets.

"And don't lie Dib. I know you too well for that to work."

Dib stared at his feet for several seconds as they walked, before gathering the courage to admit what he'd only just barely stopped denying to himself a couple months ago.

"I LIKE him, and... I... wanna be with him... I don't know... Maybe like... d-dating, I just need to be around him, and I don't know how to explain what I feel towards him."

"Yeah, that's nice, but what about Zim?"

Dib didn't answer right away. "What about Zim?" He echoed back, in essence, asking what she wanted to know and why it was important. Gaz sighed as if he were stupid.

"Have you told him anything?"

"Yeah... He's... He's Thinking about it."

Gaz nodded and chuckled.

"Can't wait to see how this turns out. I bet you five dollars that if Zim does get together with you, or anyone for that matter, he'll be hilariously awful at any form of affection and romance."

Dib had to smile at that, and the accompanying mental images of Zim ordering his lover around like a slave, or being his usual over-dramatic self when it came to more intimate things.

"Hmh, probably..." Dib was quiet again for a minute, then frowned. "You, you won't tell anyone right? About me an Zim? I mean, it's kindof... Even I think it's... Kinda wierd... You, you know?"

Gaz shrugged. "WE are weird Dib. And the world already knows it. But, I'll promise not to tell dad. He would easily find a hundred different reasons to KILL you."

Dib groaned and nodded.

"One more thing," Gaz added as they approached the school. Dib gave her his attention, listening up for what she had to say.

"For your own safety, remind Zim not to bite your face off when you kiss."

"I told you, it's not like that." Dib growled, scowling. Gaz just gave him another odd look.

"Are you kidding? Dib, if Zim were a human girl, you two would have a BABY."

"Gaz!-"

The younger teen smirked again at her brother. "See you later."

With that she walked off ahead, up the machine-strait concrete path to school, leaving Dib a little more anxious then before. He went up the steps into the smelly building, mentally dodging anyone who looked at him, and glancing at each person he passed with a sense of fear. Gaz was great at making a boy with low self-esteem feel even more self-conscious.

Dib's good mood he'd woken up with had been beaten and drugged. Now he felt a sense of having broken some law.

Zim was an alien, and oh how badly he wanted to be with him. Gaz had suggested that he 'wanted' Zim in other ways too, and his inability to refute that made him feel twisted and afraid of consequences, and his own questionable sanity.

Even so, his mind quickly fell back into the train of thought whose tracks had been worn so very deeply into him.

"Where's Zim? Is he here today? Or will he just be late again? I haven't seen him yet."

ZimZimZimZimZim

~~~•~~~

Dib wasn't the only one who'd started out feeling cheerful on that fine, but far-too-hot summer morning; however Zim's mood had nothing to do with a good night's sleep.

Still no transmissions.

As glad as he was for the end to the abuse and endless work he'd suffered, he was getting worried. Not only had no one called, but his own messages weren't getting through, no matter WHERE he called, in the entire Irken network.

That had NEVER happened. In all of HISTORY, period.

However, this meant that Zim was definitely going to have some time for his new plan. He hadn't done very much research yet, but he HAD bothered to look into a few little things humans did to show their bond-

He spent about two minutes on google. Because he was lazy. BUT STILL AMAZING!

He planned to do one of these little actions to show Dib he'd agreed to try out what they'd spoken of, and as a surprise, he wouldn't let Dib see it coming! He couldn't wait to see the -happy and honored- look on the boy's face when he offered one of the human's own species' primitive signs of affections.

"He'd better be honored..."

Zim grinned to himself, feeling a strange sort of excitement he hadn't ever felt before, at the thought of what he was going to do.

Stealthily he walked down the skool hall that day in smooth, contained, inconspicuous movements, eyes searching for his target.

Multiple people gave him very odd looks and kept their distance, but Zim ignored them all.

Spiky hair, black trench coat, huge glasses, looked like some sort of fluffy, cuddly version of a geeky secret agent; there Dib was, putting his things away in his locker. A smirk grew across the alien's face as he crept up behind the unsuspecting human, expression like a cat with a mouse.

A fluffy, nerdy, secret agent mouse... With glasses.

Given that Zim was an Irken, and had a naturally more violent nature, and no knowledge or experience in the area he was now attempting to tread in, Dib was not too surprised when he thought back later in life, to just how badly the Irken messed up that moment.

Zim purred to himself in anticipation.

The alien stepped quickly up behind the boy with a feral, maniac grin, swung his arm out in a low arc, and

-SLAP-

Dib gave a funny screech, jumping so he almost smacked his head into the locker, before whipping around defensively, one hand moving down to cover his now stinging butt.

Zim just smiled gleefully back at the boy's look of dead shock, looking much too proud of himself, appearing to be anticipating praise, or a reward.

~~~•~~~

When Dib started yelling and ran at Zim, chasing the poor, confused alien half-way around the school before deciding it wasn't worth it and hurrying to class, Zim began to wonder if he might possibly have done something wrong.

~~~•~~~

Class had already started when Dib walked in, face reddened, head hung in embarrassment, quickly shuffling into his seat without a word. Everyone went quiet and watched him, and the unwanted attention made him feel sick, until at last Ms. Bitters finally started talking again.

Dib tuned out, falling into his own thoughts.

Zim had just slapped his ass! What the hell! Never before had he done anything like that! It wasn't playful or funny, (or was it? Zim had been grinning like a demon.) it was just... Annoying, confusing, kind of insulting, seemingly meaningless, and utterly stupid. Standard Zim- but he'd never done that before! Not to anyone! That, that was just... Frisky...was that the word? It was something drunk guys did to bar-tender-ladies... Wait a minute...

How much did Zim know about what he just did? Did this have something to do with Dib's... Request?

Was Zim going to play around with his emotions now? Make fun of him, over his plea for a relationship? Dirty, stupid, cruel alien!

Dib already had his head laid on his desk, arms folded around it as if for protection. He picked himself up an inch to slam his forehead back down noisily, inflicting pain to deal with frustration. Self abuse was becoming more and more common for him, especially with his recent stress. This time nobody turned and looked.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid alien... And my butt still stings too... Man he really smacked me...'

Dib pressed his face deeper into his arms, to hide his embarrassed, red color.

It was a full minute later before the door slowly opened a second time and the smaller, green-skinned being slowly peeked around the door, with comic nervousness, ensuring that his enemy was not waiting in ambush, before flying to hide behind his desk. He remained crouched down, watching Dib, before gingerly sliding into his seat.

Dib never looked up from where his face was hidden by his arms. However Zim could see that his funny, round 'ear-things', and the back of his fragile, juicy neck, were both flushed from an increased pulse, or some... emotion. Zim wasn't sure how it worked. He just knew the boy was all scarlet from something.

Apparently though, what he'd done in the hall just now, was probably NOT what he was supposed to do. Huh. Oops.

Dib looked up once or twice to glance at Zim, and attempt to glare, but he was never able to, and would feel pressured to quickly look away, feeling overheated. Was he... Was he blushing? Oh please no...

Whoever was in the hallway had seen what Zim had done, and now he was blushing. The last thing he needed was the rumors that would be started from this. He seriously needed to calm down.

Speaking of rumors, not only was Zim an alien, but most of earth considered him a, well, a 'him', a male. Dib had come to question that for a laundry list of reasons, and was quite positive by now, that at the very least, Irkens were... Different from humans in some way... As far as gender was concerned.

Still, their potential relationship was way too political for the insecure boy to handle having his rear slapped in public.

'Dammit Zim...'

~~~•~~~

It was pointless to take notes on what the teacher was saying, because it was always just another theory on how the world was going to end; if Dib hadn't already heard said theory a hundred times from his scientist father, he'd heard it somewhere else, or sometimes they were just downright nonsense.

The human could feel Zim staring at him through the entire class, as if his gaze were meant to take Dib apart, see what made him tick. Dib's response was to sit there rather miserably, feeling anxious and sick and sweaty.

'stop staring at me! It's not fair! IM supposed to stare at YOU! WHY are you staring at me?'' His thoughts were unheard and unanswered.

Zim's fake eyes took their time in analyzing his potential 'mate'. Or was the term 'boyfriend'? Psh. That sounded stupid, not to mention that if Zim wanted Dib, he wanted him to be his and his alone. 'Boyfriend' sounded like their bond would be something easily broken. Mate, if Zim understood correctly, was much more solid and dependable, and this would probably offer more control, whatever it meant. Either way, Zim wanted this set in stone before they even started doing any activities together.

'I'll strap a leash on him if I must. But he already follows Zim so faithfully, it would be unnecessary.'

The Irken cocked his head. How was it that a species so generally ugly and dumb, could produce such a trophy of cleverness, physical abilities of speed and strength, not to mention, well, Dib certainly wasn't ugly.

The fact that this 'gem of the human race' was not only completely unguarded, but unrecognized, abused, and just begging to be claimed, only made Dib that much more deliciously irresistible to the interested conqueror.

'Yes... If anyone were to be worthy... I suppose it would be him. I must admit, he's a lot more appealing, generally speaking, then quite a few of my OWN species.'

Dib had the build of an Irken. Slimmer to the front and sides, and skinny in general, but very strong, his muscle mass just didn't show. Long, thin limbs, same for his fingers, though he had more of them then Zim- five on each hand instead of three. FIVE. The alien wasn't sure if that was disturbing or didn't matter, but it was at least noticeable.

'What could one need so many digits for? Wouldn't extra limbs be more useful then extra fingers?'

Dib's face was angular in a way that showed his frequent lack of food, but only just enough. His cheeks weren't sunk enough to be ugly, just sharper looking. And he was so expressive. Zim could read him so well by now. Large, naturally fearful-looking eyes, with so many shades of brown, red, and honey gold, Dib's eyes told Zim everything.

When Dib looked up at the teacher from where he'd been pretending he was invisible, Zim's eyes traced over the boy's nose; a strange looking thing, he would have fun playfully trying to bite it off; then Dib's jaw line, then his ears. Zim liked Dib's ears. Funny, rounded satellite dishes, flat against the earthling's head, Zim would have fun biting at those to.

Come to think of it, Zim realized he'd probably have fun just chewing on Dib in general. He looked chewy... Not that Zim wanted to eat him, but he did want to have some... puppy-scuffles. 'Hehe, fun...'

This WOULD be fun, wouldn't it?

And -gasp- did this mean Zim could play with Dib's HAIR? Zim almost squealed a little, again breaking out into a devilish grin. That beautiful, fluffy, silky head-fur... Ahh, mammals. Gotta love em. 'Hairiness' was decidedly not good by most races, but 'fluffiness' was another matter entirely. Zim's own personal preference, was that fur was, for lack of a more 'irkenly' term, cute. He found the texture luxurious. Zim was just glad he didn't have anything so high-maintenance attached to his own body. And then there was that scythe lock that curved back like a mock antenna, could he just PLAY with all that? In his moment of boredom, a toy of the highest quality had thrown itself at him. Oh yes! Later, later TODAY, since he really had to stop procrastinating, he'd get Dib, find some place where they could be alone, and just toy with his limbs and hair for a while. That sounded relaxing. And fun. And controlling. Zim liked controlling. He'd just drag Dib- wait...

All of this would involve TOUCHING, wouldn't it?

Zim's cheerful smile was torn inside out into a look of anguish as his entire plan was shot down.

In one hundred and fifty years of life, Zim had only ever trusted one being enough to allow them within his personal space bubble, or to touch him for more then a second.

Gir. And Gir had been taken from him.

Touching? Ehhhh, no please. He'd pass.

Dib glanced over again, hearing Zim sigh almost longingly. His golded-amber eyes met the stare of fake grey-blue ones and the earthling turned away again, his almost-back-to-sickly-white skin turning reddish all over again.

Normally he would have accepted the challenge of a staring contest, but he just felt too on edge lately.

Zim's eyes continued tracing every inch of the other's slouched body in curiosity, but he was too afraid to consider any deeper exploration with physical contact.

The teacher droned on for an age before, once again, the lunch bell sounded. The class emptied in a rush, and for once Zim got up without sighing or looking too pained.

Dib glanced up at the sound of ringing, followed by cheering and hurried footsteps. His eyes fell on the lower, back part of the irken's long, almost knee-length uniform, and he glared, almost wanting to dash over and claim vengeance by returning the overly awkward gesture from earlier, smack Zim right back, but he didn't.

After a few seconds he got up and walked out.

Zim was nowhere to be found, somehow making himself scarce again, and Dib trekked down the hallway alone.

~~~•~~~

The black-haired boy had just located his sister and sat down at the opposite end from her at the table she'd chosen, ready to see if the cafeteria's meal for today was edible, when another tray was crashed down right in front of him.

To say the very least, Dib was startled to jerk his head up and see Zim, slipping right into the seat directly across from him, and the human stared dumbly for a moment.

"Dib thing!" The lord of space drama addressed lowly slave-boy. Lowly slave boy gave him a funny look in return.

"Yes?"

Zim cleared his throat. For a moment he turned his head, eyes searching the room to ensure no one was listening, despite how loudly he was shouting, while he thought out how to word what he would say. Calm and dignified when he looked back, Zim began.

"I have become aware, that my actions this morning may have been mislead, and did not seem to covey the meaning I wished."

Zim gave the inferior being a good thirty seconds to try to translate what he'd said before continuing. Dib looked quite confused.

"According to my research, what I did was SUPPOSED to be sign of 'affection' which is a sign of the mateshippy bond between two of your kind, yes?"

Comprehension finally flowed into Dib's expression.

"You mean when you slapped me?"

"Yes, that."

Gaz smirked knowingly from the other side of the table.

"But anyway, what Zim was trying to express, is that I have AGREED to your proposal. We can TRY being in... What is it called?"

"... A... Relationship?"

"YES! YES THAT!"

Zim looked unreasonably proud of himself. Dib just stared with a strange look for quite a while. His mind was mixed between how incredibly ignorant Zim was of these things, and the fact that beyond all hope, Zim had just said yes.

Zim said yes.

They could try it.

Dib's eyes widened, and Zim looked even more pleased.

"Yes, be honored! Very honored. And, eh, perhaps you could suggest some other 'affection-thing', that would work better as a sign of our bond-ship? Since you clearly don't like what Zim chose?" Huffily, Zim used his tone to indicate that he thought Dib was just being difficult about this and didn't get what all the fuss was about.

Dib blushed and looked away for a second, mildly embarrassed. Inside he was still rejoicing, unable to quite believe it. Zim was really offering to try it... And now he even wanted to... 'do something' with Dib? His heart warmed even further at the offer of loving attention, but out of fear, he had to turn it down.

"We- we can't do anything in public Zim..."

The Irken frowned in confusion.

"I thought part of the point was to display that we were together, so no other filthies would attempt to get one of us... Showing ownership?"

"Well, yes and no... And n-not so early on."

Zim didn't understand. 'Not so early on?' what was that supposed to mean? That Dib wanted to have only a very vague relationship, after going so far to practically beg for it? Psh, foolish insecure Dib. Zim was in for all or nothing, and right now he had his mind set on all.

"But you are Zim's property now,"

At the other end of the table, Gaz was trying not to laugh.

Dib felt a fluttering sensation at Zim's statement. Coming from the invader, it was almost quite caring. The possessiveness was expected from Zim... Dib was worried about how far that might go, but... He kindof liked it... Maybe.

"And Zim will not tolerate anyone else attempting to court Dib- and you'd better not even CONSIDER checking out others! You are Zim's property. In my amazingness I have decided to try this 'luuuuv' thing, with you, and you should be honored! You WILL cooperate!"

Gaz had to try harder and harder not to burst into hysterics, smirking twitchily at how incredibly funny the scene was to her. Dib shot his sister an irritated look that did nothing, before turning back to Zim, wondering what he'd gotten into. He didn't regret it though.

For now, Zim seemed to be getting huffy and stubborn, so Dib decided to throw him off track.

"Right, right, whatever you say, so anyway, what were we talking about? Before this?"

Zim fell utterly blank.

"What? Uhm, I don't... Know..."

The alien glared stupidly at the table, and Dib felt satisfied that the awkwardness was gone for now.

The pause lasted seven seconds.

"Oh yeah!" Zim chirped suddenly. "We were discussing signs of affection!"

Zim smiled happily while poking at his food. Dib pouted, looking to the side, seeing how he'd barely stopped the weird conversation at all.

"What other physical things do humans do to bond-mates?"

Dib was getting frustrated with a cornered panicky feeling that he didn't understand.

"Things that really shouldn't be discussed in public." He answered very flatly, deciding it was a good time to go take a recess break.

He liked and longed for Zim in all the normal ways associated with 'love', but he had no experience in these things, and was naturally cautious. Besides, he really didn't want anyone to know yet that he had some rather unnatural attractions. This was ZIM he was talking about. It would be disturbingly easy to do something he might regret. Still, he didn't want to completely drop it.

"Why don't we talk after school?"

Dib got up to put his tray away. Feeling hot and heavy, it was definitely time for some fresh air.

Annoyed, Zim opened his mouth to snarl something, but then noticed something else apparently more important to say.

"The Dib cannot go out for recess! You ate nothing! NOTHING!"

The Irken wrung his hands in his usual over-dramatic fashion, earning him several odd looks from various people around the room.

"I'm not hungry. Besides, I doubt anyone would care if I starved."

...

"Zim supposes that is true... Yes, no one cares."

Ouch. So much for romantic gestures, or even friendly ones. And Dib wasn't in the mood to patiently explain 'no Zim, you're supposed to pretend that you care.' Forget that.

Rolling his eyes, Dib walked over to the garbage can across the room, dumped the rest of his food in- where it rightfully belonged, back to the dump from whence it came- and then, after putting his tray on the stack of dirtied ones, hurried for the hall.

~~~•~~~

He swore he could sense Zim following him. Were those the alien's rushed footsteps against the tile, trying to catch up, a little ways back?

Dib turned a corner, glanced back over his shoulder to see no one, then started walking even faster. If Zim really was trying to catch up, whatever he had to say would just have to wait. Right now Dib was looking for some secluded place where he could shout, dance, fist-pump, squeal, and generally look like a very happy drunken idiot, over his victory, which had finally sunk in.

Zim said yes. And it seemed an overly eager yes too! Dib had never really thought that was even possible. He'd longed and dreamed about it, but, the reality of it... Zim even wanted to discuss 'signs of affection', he seemed interested in a way that might allow them to play around in that area. In other words, kisses, hugs, and other cuddly stuff, were within reach for the first time in Dib's life.

In all honesty, Dib had figured fate would treat his teenage years the same way it affected his childhood- with wretched cruelty. If he ever got a chance to date someone, he figured it would be the desperate person no one else would date, who would have so many problems that he'd want nothing to do with them.

Instead, he now had a freaking sexy, unnaturally fascinating, (and adorable on top,) irken invader, insisting the earthling was his property, and wanting everyone to know.

He got what he wanted when it really really mattered. For once in his life he was winning. For once in so long he was HAPPY.

Dib almost felt lightheaded and faint, but that he refused to acknowledge. Fainting was for girls.

**~~~•~~~**

**The more reviews I get, the more encouraged I am to spend more time on this and update sooner. And feel free to suggest what should be the first 'sign of affection' that Dib explains to Zim/Zim experiments on Dib or whatev. Not saying I'll do it, but, you never know. I'll see what works. ;D**

**(forces random Zim and Dib chibi's to kiss each other for your amusement)**

**Dib: What the- HOLY ****! THE ALIEN'S GUNNA SPIT EGGS INTO MY THROAT TO MY STOMMACH LIKE IN THE ONE MOVIE! *pushing Zim away***

**Zim: ._. Wut? **

**Swordmouse: *makes them kiss again***

**XD I'm way too tired right now. Forgive me...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter rating: K+ mild 'romantic' stuff and some swearing. ZADR! If you haven't figured out this is ZADR yet there's something wrong with you. If you give me hate mail for the couple I like, you will be laughed at, then ignored. Thank you.**

**I don't understand how I can sit and type out about 6,000 words, and still feel like nothing happened in a chapter. DX Then again, I've been just upset about this in general because of how long it took to write. I wanted it up by Friday. It is now Sunday night and I'm just posting it- I wasn't even procrastinating! How this happen?!**

**Well anyway, to those who haven't looked at my profile, I'm going back to school soon, which will almost completely destroy my time for writting. Also, it's getting cooler by me as fall approaches, and this time of year always makes me want to work on my original stuff, headworlds, and the like. In other words, I'm going to almost completely disappear soon. I'll try to keep a bare minimum of at least one update here per month, but I'll see what I can do.**

**Please review! Feel free to point out errors, offer constructive criticism, let me know what you liked and didn't like, discuss fan theories, or even ask questions. I'll try to get back to you if your review is one that needs a responce. To everyone who's reviewed so far, I'm glad you're enjoying this. Thank you for the encouragement! Here's your chapter of delicious doom!**

**~•~**

It was way too hot outside. Especially for little green aliens who's home planets never got so close to their suns. Now that class was over, some kids were LITERALLY attempting (and succeeding) to fry an egg on the black, parking lot asphalt outside of school. It was fizzling away just like bacon in a pan, and one boy went to look for something to flip it over with, daring one of the others to eat it when it was 'done'.

Zim made a face of disdain and sickness at the giggling earth-monkeys, wondering where on earth they'd gotten that random egg from, and snarled low in his throat at the blinding humidity. He hurried away in his quick, stiff-legged march, chin in the air. By the time he'd goose stepped around the skool, climbed over the brick wall surrounding the recess area, and gotten into the adjacent 'nature park' shaded by trees, he was already sweating pretty badly.

His antenna could sense Dib; who was now HIS Dib; somewhere around here, and he followed the trail, hurriedly zooming in to the source.

He smiled without thought and purred tiredly to himself, breathing a sigh of relief when a soft breeze cooled his fake hair. That charcoal colored mop of waxy fluff had been treating the poor irken's head like a solar panel, absorbing that volcanic agony, but if he took off the wig he'd blow his cover. Even here in the woods wasn't safe. If a hobo didn't see him, he'd be caught on satellite.

A little out of breath, Zim slowed, keeping to the thicker shadows that blocked the sun more efficiently, and began to reflect as he followed Dib's trail, seeing the boy had gotten a good distance into the park.

All day after Zim had said 'yes,' Dib had been off in his own little world, appearing deep in a happy land of unicorns and fluff, cotton candy, flowers, and cute little baby animal things. Dib's innocent, untainted smile of pure contentment and joy, as he stared off at nothing through the rest of his classes, was rather nice to look at, Zim thought, though it was apparently a little confusing and frightening to Dib's classmates.

Someone had hesitantly asked the brown-eyed earthling if he'd been high, and Dib had made a face before pretending he didn't hear them.

Dib's smile was nice though. He rarely smiled, unless it was a challenging or taunting sort of grin. Seeing that look of calm contentment made Zim feel like things were okay. It certainly took his mind off his own crumbling, uncertain life. Not to mention his loss of companionship.

Gir...

Zim had hoped that after agreeing to be the human's lover-thing, he could just... Be around Dib, talk to him, have someone to be with, maybe follow Dib home, 'hang out' as humans said. He wanted someone skipping along beside him and jabbering and ranting away about nonsense again. Dib wasn't Gir, but he seemed almost equally important to the invader, and companionship from him would be a welcome salve for his bruised emotions.

The invader had arrogantly expected that Dib would be following him around even more obsessively, closely, loyally, and loudly, then usual, maybe even trying to be all icky and romantic. He'd probably be clinging to him and smothering him in hugs, Zim had thought.

Instead the earthling had avoided him for a time. He seemed to be thinking very carefully, yet happily, so it was probably about the relationship, but the earthling strategically avoided any social interaction after the 'yes', especially with Zim. It baffled and annoyed the alien. And now he had to make himself look like the needy one, and go looking for the Dib, instead of Dib chasing him like how things were supposed to be.

But, Zim looked for Dib anyway, even if it did make him look needy. There was no one watching who he needed to impress, and he wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to go back to his empty base yet- he wanted to be with Dib.

Especially sinse they still had something important to talk about.

'Pain Park' wasn't near as bad as the name suggested. It was surprisingly large too, given how the city had surrounded it and threatened its borders.

Dib had once done an essay for skool, saying that, the reason construction crews refused to take down the forest, or even enter it in uniform with their noisy trucks, was for fear of being attacked by the mutant, semi-anthropic slugs that had territory in the park. All Zim knew was that the place was full of squirrels, birds, large trees, and other filthy nature. He also had labeled it as a possible shelter on hot days like today, with the generally thick canapy and the cool breezes. It smelled of moss and flowers; hey, at least it wasn't the stink of GARBAGE; and there was a small lake, or a large pond, either way, a largish body of water, off around the middle of the park in a huge clearing.

Zim smirked, remembering the counselor who'd pretended to take Dib's side in the battle for earth, who then willingly got 'abducted' by the plutosians... Plutonians?... plut-something it was; but it happened right in that very clearing by the lake. Heh, memories.

Zim had decided he liked those plut-aliens a bit, at least those two he'd met. They gave him free super-weapons. Hooray!

All in all, the park was wonderful by human standards, and to Zim, it was tolerable enough that he'd consider making a point not to destroy it when conquering the planet. He'd come to appreciate it a little. And Dib seemed to like it. He could keep it for Dib, he supposed, but only because it didn't take up much space as far as a percentage of the planet.

Zim tracked Dib down after several minutes, and found him laying at the foot of a tree, sprawled out on his back. There was a notebook and pencil next to the boy in the grass, suggesting he'd started writing or doodling but then decided to forget it. His trench coat had been taken off and was bunched up beneath his head for a pillow, so he was just in the blue, neutral-face T-shirt that was one size too big for him.

Zim walked up beside Dib, looking at the boy past the high, pink collar of his uniform that hid his chin when he turned his head down.

Dib knew Zim was standing there, but neither one of them did anything for a couple seconds. The cicadas in the trees were buzzing away in protest of the temperature, and would have drowned out any quiet whispers. Both the human and the alien currently felt too lazy to put much effort into being heard.

So they both shared a little moment, somehow both feeling the same thing and knowing the other was feeling it with them.

It was a very odd experience. When Zim finally thought about it he shuddered, weirded out, and later accused Dib of being phycic and attempting to lull him into a state of serenity for unspeakable purposes.

Zim broke the moment by loudly and dramatically clearing his throat.

Dib was staring up with half-closed eyes, glasses askew. He turned his head slightly, finally acknowledging Zim with a goofy smile.

"It's too hooooot..." Dib moaned.

Zim thoroughly agreed and flopped down to sit beside Dib.

They sat there for another minute, the heat forcing their minds into another state of lazy carelessness until Zim finally broke it again.

"It IS too hot. Zim absolutely refuses to go anywhere until it cools. Curse your earth sun! CURSES!" He shook a fist at the sky and Dib raised an eyebrow.

"What if it doesn't cool off for hours? Then what will you do?" The boy questioned, just to be difficult, eyes following a sparrow that hopped from branch to branch above their heads for a while before flying up and spontaneously combusting the moment it was above the canopy. Dib made a 'what the hell' face, but Zim hadn't noticed.

"Then Zim will remain here so his flesh is not cooked to a crisp." The Irken folded his arms and stuck out his long, pointed, serpentine tongue in a huff.

"Won't that get boring?"

Zim considered this. "Yes... But I'll make you stay here with me. Then it will be less boring."

Dib smiled happily.

"I don't feel like going anywhere until it cools off either- I have a big, black leather coat to lug around."

Zim nodded, looking at the bunched up coat Dib had laid his head on, then grinned his 'mildly evil', joking sort of grin.

"I like your coat. It smells like caribou. I want it."

Zim reached out to snatch it, but Dib saw the move and quickly rolled over onto his stomach, pulling the coat underneath himself and hugging it to his upper chest.

"No, it's mine."

He still had his eyes closed sleepily and exhaled a long sigh, resting his chin on the coat sinse he was now laying on his front.

Zim smirked and growled playfully, scooting closer to try to push the human over and grab the coat. Dib remained stubborn, laying on his front with his arms wrapped around the garment and his face buried in it, causing his glasses to be pushed into his face.

"Shtop ih, i's mine!" Dib mumbled again, face still shoved into the coat.

"Yes, but YOU are mine!" The Irken argued, grinning wider, shoving at Dib's shoulder. Dib would have been glad at the 'affection' but he knew Zim had only said it because he wanted something from the earth-monkey.

"That doesn't mean my jacket is yours!"

"Yes it does! What's Zim's is Zim's, and Dib is Zim's, so what's Dib's is Zim's also!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It is perfectly simple! What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine also!"

Zim tried to reach under Dib to snatch the coat. Dib rolled away onto his side, curling up around it.

"So then is your stuff mine Zim?" He smirked as he looked back over his shoulder.

"No." Zim jumped forward and shoved at him again, trying to reach around and grab the treasure.

"Why not?"

"I am Ziiiim!"

Dib felt the Irken give up on trying to push him over, and just fall back to sit on his butt, poking him hard in the back over and over, claw extended to sharpen the jabs, and Dib squeaked, trying to squirm away, back arching.

"Hey, ow, quit-quit that!"

Zim started to laugh, enjoying the game, and continued poking him.

"MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!- Oh, eh, that reminds Zim."

The Irken finally stopped poking Dib, getting comfortable, sitting Indian style. Dib turned to look back at him over his shoulder again in mild curiosity. Zim cocked his head.

"You said we could talk after school. About affectiony stuff."

Dib's sunken, pale cheeks turned slightly pink, and his lips twitched into a nervous, slightly embarrassed smile.

"Oh yeah... You... wanna try something like that?"

"Yes!"

The Irken looked excited, and proudly confident. This would make it official that Dib belonged to him. Dib felt heat rushing into his cheeks; as if he wasn't sweating enough already.

"But preferably without touching!" Zim quickly added.

Dib's happiness was smothered quite suddenly and he looked away.

"Well what-...Why not?"

"Eh, because... It... Germs... Dont touch me smelly."

"Oh come ON Zim, I shower every day!"

The boy looked upset and exasperated. His bright eyes dug into Zim's fake ones, questioningly, subtly whispering, 'you aren't being funny, whats the REAL problem?'

Zim fidgeted where he sat, looking away and starting to pull up individual blades of grass. He was quiet for a minute. The jovial air from before was gone.

"Aren't there any signs of affection we can do without touching each other?" He questioned innocently.

Dib frowned and didn't answer. After a second he sat up, leaning forward a little more into the alien's space to get his attention, wanting the power and connection of eye-contact, that Zim wasn't giving him. The Irken had gotten distant very suddenly.

"Zim?"

Zim glanced up at last, but his gaze fluttered around the boy's face, unfixedly.

"You had no problem shoving at me, poking me, and hitting me, when we were enemies. Why won't you touch me now?"

"Because." Zim spat, eyes darting across the ground as he struggled with how to respond. Even if he were to tell Dib the truth, he wouldn't be sure how to say it.

"Zim is still not COMPLETELY sure that you wont harm Zim- even just... accidentally."

"So you're... Scared I'll hurt you?"

"OF COURSE NOT! I AM TAKING PRECAUTIONS!"

The invader snarled at the idea of Dib ...knowing his weakness. As he'd said, the only touch he'd ever known was painful, and as such, he believed, it must be very difficult to touch someone without hurting them.

Not only that, but this required trust. Zim didn't build that easily, he knew trust really hurt if it was broken.

Dib thought for a moment.

"But you hugged me that one time-"

Zim visibly shuddered at the mere mention of that scenario.

"It needed to be done to get Keef happy enough to explode from my happiness goo, since he wanted us to be friends and all. If we hadn't done that... 'pretending,' he would have made our lives into earth-hell!"

"Earth-hell?... But Zim, I didn't hurt you then did I? And we were still enemies then, it's just a hug."

Zim felt a little sick. He really hoped Dib wasn't implying that he WANTED a... Hug. And if he was, well, he wasn't getting one! That had been an absolutely traumatizing experience. Zim hadn't even had time to mentally prepare himself for the physical contact. He swore he almost went into cardiac arrest. It had been too much. Every nerve that he felt pressure on had been sending a panic signal to his brain.

As soon as his young nemesis had been right up against him then, Zim had been suddenly, unexplainably sure, that he was about to die. A small point of contact was bad enough, that alone could make him vulnerable, but for his whole body to be pressed up against someone who he thought for sure would stab him in the back... It was torture. Just the concept was torture. It was simply a pathological, unreasonable fear.

And trust was nothing but vulnerability.

"That's beside the point! You just don't understand." Zim hissed and considered getting up and walking away, at least scooting a little farther from the human who was currently leaning into his space bubble. He was upset, and felt frustrated.

"Hugging is too, ih, eh..."

Dib could tell Zim was frightened and uncomfortable. His expression, body language, and stuttering said that clearly.

"Well we don't have to hug now, you could just hold my hand or something, I don't know! I mean, You can get used to being touched slowly, or..."

Dib was disappointed and Zim knew it. For some reason the boy wanted this. Zim didn't understand. The thought of it made him feel sick.

"J-Just let me-"

Dib lifted a hand, fingers reaching.

Zim saw the movement and felt the electrocuting shock of simple instinctive panic throbbing in his chest; in the span of a second, before he could think, he hissed like an angry cat and swatted Dib's hand away, jerking away from the boy.

Zim's eyes were wide, and Dib could see a hint of his real, red eyes behind the contacts, their glow pulsing with the alien's racing 'heartbeat'.

Dib jumped, startled by Zim's sudden hostility. Then insecurity began to creep in.

Shit! He should have known better! What if Zim disowned him now? Zim clearly didn't want... Why was Zim responding this way?

The human's eyes searched Zim's face in nervous apology, as the Irken fought to calm down as fast as possible, feeling stupid and slightly embarrassed. The invader refused to look at Dib.

"I said not to touch me!" Zim growled, then more quietly, "You didn't even WARN Zim..."

"I'm sorry," Dib murmured. "I didn't think tha-"

"No, you DIDN'T think!"

The invader snapped. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Zim narrowed his eyes at the ground, appearing defensive in a hurt sort of way, like some piece of security had been taken from him.

"I'm sorry." Dib said again softly, fearful. He knew it wouldn't be a good idea to make Zim uncomfortable when their relationship had just started. Dib's expression looked punished. Yet somehow, despite everything, he still had the nerve to push things.

"Can't you just let me try? It's really not that bad..."

Zim looked up with an absolutely poisonous death-glare. Dib looked away for a second, before meeting his gaze softly, but not backing down, pleadingly.

The words 'just try it' were bouncing back and forth in Zim's head. Wasn't that what Dib had said about the whole lovey-thing in the first place? And here Zim was- he'd given in. Because something about what little he knew of the concept had been appealing. Because something about Dib and being with Dib was appealing.

The boy had been quite happy when Zim had agreed. Quite, quite happy. Zim thought he might kindof like seeing Dib happy.

Dib really seemed to want to touch him. It would probably make the earthling happy...

Out. Of. The. Question.

Zim felt butterflies fluttering in his spooch, crawling up through his flesh to spread out through his entire torso. Nervousness was tingling through his body. His eyes darted conflictingly. Could he try it? Not a full hug, but just a little touch? There was hardly any real reason for refusing to do so. It would make him stronger to develop this... Tolerance...

But it would require trust. Trust wasn't strength, trust was weakness. Irkens trusted no one.

As Zim argued with himself, Dib's eyes ran over the Irken's form. Zim sat there Indian style, quietly, with sweat that made his pretty green face gleam, and his scruffy, unkept wig was drooping into his eyes. Dib realized he really did want to touch him, to feel him, it was affectionate curiosity. He felt his heart fluttering. He felt surprised at himself, and again wondered if this attraction was a little... Too unnatural. But Zim looked so... Nice... Right now.

But Zim clearly, REALLY didn't like the idea of being caressed or hugged. Dib sighed.

"If you just can't handle it then I won't touch you. Just say so. I won't unless you let me, but I promise, it's really not so bad... Please? Just a couple of seconds is all, you'll get used to it. I won't HURT you."

Dib tried to reason with the extra-terrestrail, to slide him into the idea.

Zim felt a knot of anger in his chest and clenched his jaw. Dib had picked his words well. Now if Zim backed down he'd look weak. He'd look like he 'couldn't handle it' and was afraid for no good reason, or that's what he thought.

Cursed, filthy, clever dirt-monkey.

"Well FINE." The proud little invader finally yelled. "If you NEED to so BADLY."

Dib seemed to lighten right up while Zim fidgeted in flustered nervousness.

"I just want to show you it's not so bad, it can actually be really nice."

Dib reached out his strong yet bony, pale skinned hand again. Zim was looking away so Dib couldn't see him shutting his eyes tight. The alien's clawed fingers dug into the ground for something to hold onto. As he sensed the distance between them shortening he tried to mentally prepare himself somehow but it only made him feel sick with fear.

Awkwardly, hesitantly, Dib formed his hand around Zim's shoulder gaurd, not really knowing where to start. After a moment he gently slid the point of contact down to Zim's upoer arm. Dib's heart fluttered, excitedly, and he was only touching the irken's cottony uniform sleeve, but he could feel the shape of Zim underneath it. He wanted to feel the irken's skin and he wanted to hold him tight. He wanted... Zim... Blush dusted a darker color onto the boy's cheeks as he was trying not to grin with zeal. He was TOUCHING the alien. It was field research and affection rolled into one!

Zim felt the light, brushing contact and tensed up with a jerk. He felt the opposite kind of excitement as Dib, a negative kind, and swore he was going to vomit. His body seemed to hear up and his head felt strange. Zim fidgeted, eyes narrowed but trying not to let any of it show.

Dib rubbed his thumb massagingly against the compact irken muscles in Zim's thin arm.

"See, I'm not hurting you."

"Silence."

Zim growled, fidgeting again, but just beginning to calm down a tiny bit. Okay, so Dib wasn't hurting or threatening him, but Zim was still NOT enjoying it.

Calm. He needed to calm down. Just bare with it for a minute, it would make him stronger... Maybe... Sort of... But he could learn to get used to, and even enjoy this! He was Zim!

Dib slid his hand back up to the invader's hard, triangular shoulder guard, then down to the left tip of the irken's inhuman collar bone.

Zim's panic spiked back up, past where it had been before, now that the point of contact had moved to his chest. Dib felt the slightest jerk as Zim gasped inaudibly and tensed.

"I'm not gunna hurt you."

Feeling insulted, Zim snarled, and squirmed a bit as Dib's fingertips moved down his uniform tracing his ribs.

Those small bones protected Zim's vitals- and his former enemy had his hand over them!

Zim did not like this. Something was wrong, and it was a lot worse then the fear he'd been expecting from this. As his body temperature rose, he was starting to see spots in his eyes, his cardiac muscle was beating so hard and fast and heavy and he felt so lightheaded. The only reason he hadn't pulled away, was because his terror had jumped up enough to pressurize his head and complicate his thinking process. Zim frowned, feeling strangely confused and not knowing what he felt that way about.

Dib's hand went even lower, towards the alien's flat mid-section, towards his spooch, the boy's face getting redder, eyes showing total fascination, his thoughts were completely consumed in the extra-terrestrial.

There were to more rib-bones to protect Zim in his mid-section. It would be so easy for Dib to slip a knife out of his sleeve, stab, twist, saw him open; just like he'd said when he was a kid;

~*Spill your insides all over an alien autopsy table*~

A wave of something like a mix of coldness and heat and fear completely fizzled all Zim's nerves suddenly and his digestive system seemed to completely flip over.

Dib pulled back his hand, looking up as Zim made a sudden coughing sound, jerking as if he were gagging. His tongue stuck out as his stomach clenched but he didn't throw up.

"Z-Zim?"

Dib let his hand fall to his side, figuring that his 'lover' had definitely had enough of that for now.

The alien swallowed thickly, eyes appearing clouded, and Dib realized suddenly how heavy and shaky the invader's breathing was.

"S-stop..."

Dib felt a pang of something like sadness or sympathy. Zim really forced himself. Dib hadn't realized just how much that had upset the green being, his amber eyes widened as he saw that the alien was TREMBLING. Zim still sat just as he had been, knees drawn up to his chest, clawed fingers dug into the ground. He lifted his arms to hug his knees now, staring as blankly as he possibly could ahead of himself.

He didn't like this. He didn't like it at all.

Zim's spooch twisted and convulsed as he forced himself to hide what he felt, and stop the vicious hot chills running down his spine. He didn't know what he was feeling but he hated it.

"Are you okay?" Dib's voice was quiet, and higher pitched with concern. Zim thought it sounded garbled, like something underwater. One of his antenna twitched involuntarily, and Zim suddenly realized that his antenna felt all soggy and heavy, even more so then they usually did when trapped under his wig.

Zim just stared. He slowed and quieted his breathing, unclenched his muscles, relaxed, tried to calm down at least enough to look normal. He didn't answer for a while and Dib began to feel guilty, wondering what on earth he'd done to Zim. Apparently there was something he really didn't understand going on here.

Man, he just messed up everything didn't he?

Hopefully what he'd done wasn't as unforgivable as Zim's expression suggested, or their togetherness was over. Dib swallowed.

Irkens didn't show weakness. A pathetic HUMAN could have handled that touching without a problem, and here he was a superior Irken, and look at him! Pathetic, weak! He needed to pull himself together, just think of what they'd say! What would the tallest think of him?

They'd probably be even more upset with his reaction, then the fact he'd let the human start feeling him up in the first place, and that was saying something!

Zim just sat staring blankly. He shut out his emotions, and steeled himself. Letting out a deep breath, he looked up at Dib, who had started chewing on his nails in worry.

"Heheh," The invader chuckled shakily. "It's this miserable earth's sun." He insisted. "Zim is overheated and dehydrated, and it's making me feel sick, it has nothing to do with the touching." That was a half-truth. The interaction had been AWFUL, but Zim probably wouldn't have almost-fainted if not for this scorching heat. Even in the shade it was too much. He'd been out for too long. He needed to get somewhere with air conditioning. Irkens were used to cooler temperatures. This was just WAY too much, even in the shade!

Dib stared for a second, then nodded slowly.

"Right, well you need to cool off somehow then." Dib didn't buy the excuse, but he planned to go along. The sun was only getting worse. It was definitely time to hurry and get inside somewhere.

"Yes, indeed." Zim nodded, getting back to his regular self. Something about Dib's caring words helped him to calm down faster. The last of his terror was ebbing away. He was alive. Unharmed and alive, and it was all over, and he had nothing to worry about.

"We must go find a yellow car." Zim hefted himself up off the grassy ground and stumbled slightly before catching his balance. His head was still spinning and he felt strange, but he was an Irken soldier. He was tough and unfeeling. He would ignore it.

"You mean a taxi?" Dib asked, standing up also and adjusting his glasses, as Zim started walking in the direction of the nearest road.

"Yes, a taxi thing. Zim needs to go home and drink sweet cold juice things... And lay down on a fan."

Dib eyed Zim over. He knew the invader well enough to see he was NOT quite alright, but was pretending to be. Dib worried about how Zim responded just to that light little touch, but he was also relieved. Zim didn't want to seem weak, so he wasn't letting Dib know how upset he was, and in turn, he wasn't running away from him and breaking off their starting 'mate-ship' as Zim had called it once or twice. Everything seemed fine for right now. Dib just needed to keep an eye on the invader and see to it that Zim didn't force himself too far. Zim was stumbling slightly, weakened. He really did need to get home. Dib felt indebted to make sure he managed to get there.

Dib followed the alien loyally.

After a minute Zim looked back to check that Dib was coming, then smiled a little when he saw the boy. Dib smiled back.

Well, this had been an eventful day altogether. Dib was saddened by the thought of going home and spending the remaining hours in his room... Staring at his computer...

Watching Zim through his spy cameras...

it wasn't the same as actually being with him.

"So what have you been doing lately?"

Dib asked, making a little attempt at friendly conversation.

"Ehh, n-not much." Zim answered truthfully. After the empire began to collapse under rebellions, all his time had been taking up with attempting to support that cause from his base on earth, unable to fly out to the Massive due to all the confusion and signal interference. Now all signals had been shut off. He had been too nervous about what that might mean to go back to conquering. For a couple days he hadn't done a single productive thing. He didn't even have any plans for the earthling to sabotage.

"Zim has been... Bored."

Dib was the only really fun, exciting thing left in his life at the moment. He had no plans in progress... Nothing.

Zim realized very suddenly, that unless he got himself some entertainment, he was going to spend another long night laying on the couch watching television and eating potato chips, effectively ruining his nice, thin body shape.

Though neither being realized it, the earlier experiment with touch HAD done something positive for Zim. Dib hadn't hurt him. And Zim was beginning to realize that Dib had no wish to do so. The very first, tiny little mustard seed of trust was planted. It was enough for Zim wonder for a moment, and then decide;

"Dib will come to Zim's base until it gets colder."

There. Now he would have something to do. Besides, the thought of being all alone was starting to fill him with a similar dread as the idea of being touched. In all his life he'd almost never been completely alone. Now he was, and he didn't like it.

It made him feel small and his eyes would start to water when he thought about it for too long.

Yes, Zim decided; Dib would stay with him for a while.

Dib looked up in wide eyed disbelief. Was the alien really inviting him over?

"You... Sure? You want me to?"

"Yes."

Dib thought about this, extremely surprised. Surely there had to be some reason...

"You're not going to try to steal my lungs again are you?"

"Hah, of course not stupid dirt-monkey. Your lungs tasted like sand and puke."

Dib wasn't sure how to take that, but he followed Zim happily enough. He hadn't had much to do lately either. He'd love to stay over at Zim's, even if he had to stay up in the house part, forbidden to enter the actual base under the threat of pain and death. It would be great to actually be with Zim for the rest of the day instead of watching him on his computer like he usually did.

Eventually they reached an abrupt end to the park, looking out at a sidewalk, and then a multi-lane road, and after that, ugly city buildings. It only took a couple minutes to catch the attention of a desperate-for-money taxi driver, and they both eagerly climbed in, only to find that the cab was, beyond all logic, even hotter then the air outside. Wretchedly hot. It didn't smell very nice either.

Zim winced when he sat down on one of the cheap, dark colored, butt-burning seats. He looked around squirming in discomfort just as Dib got in after him and closed the door.

Zim hesitated a moment, getting a feeling of apprehension, it was just TOO HOT for him. His funny feeling from when Dib had been touching him was coming back. His head spun a little and something seemed wrong with his vision but he didn't know what it was. His spooch felt ill. Maybe it would be better to sit in the woods all day and night then to suffer through THIS, but the driver had already been given his directions and had started driving. Zim restrained a whimper as they pulled away from the sidewalk and scenery started zipping by. Well, no going back now.

It wouldn't last long, he assured himself, and tried not to think about how his insides felt like swirling lava in an active volcano.

"Zim, you need to get your seat belt on."

Dib nudged the Irken in the side and Zim snapped back to attention as best he could. Dib's eyes widened when he saw the invader's face.

"Are you okay? You look really feverish."

Zim huffed. While on some weak level he enjoyed Dib's sympathy, he told himself that he didn't need it.

His face was darkened, and his expression held a permanent slight grimace, like someone who's stomach was about to kick out its occupants. His face was coated in glimmering sweat droplets. And of course, Zim said he was fine.

Dib rolled his eyes. Zim was NOT fine, but he decided to be nice about it for now and not argue. Several seconds passed and Zim still hadn't put on his seat-belt. Dib wondered if the Irken had heard him.

"Zim." He said again, this time making sure he had the other's attention.

"You need to put on your seat-belt."

Childishly, the Irken pouted.

"I don't like it!" Irken machinery had artificial gravity that held the driver in place. The primitive restraints in these earth vehicles were disgusting and looked almost dangerous and threatening to a being not used to them.

"You have to wear it. It's not a choice."

"What if we hit something and catch on fire? It will take more time to get out!"

"It'll take a couple of seconds and cars don't just catch on fire unless they're leaking fuel."

Dib's voice had gained an exasperated edge. He was surprised the driver wasn't saying anything. Wasn't there a fine for this?

"If we DO get hit, you'll go flying out the windshield and land on your head the way things are now!"

"Noooo, I'll land on my FEET because I am Zim!"

The alien crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue and Dib didn't have a clue how to even respond to that kind of nonsense. He just stared with a dumbfounded expression for a second before holding up his hands.

"Alright, fine. You'll smash through the windshield, land on your feet like some bad-ass ninja, covered in broken glass, then get hit by a semi that'll come flying out of nowhere. Just put. It. On."

Dib reached around the Irken who immediately flinched away, growling. Dib grabbed the seatbelt, pulled it around the invader, and clicked it into the fastener before Zim could object.

"There."

Zim glared at the belt and pouted, but didn't do anything about it. He looked tired and sick, and sort of oddly confused. Dib knew Irkens didn't do well in such heat. He hoped Zim would be okay. He didn't look right.

Zim just growled and crossed his arms.

"Stupid flying semi's... Curse them."

Dib rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

**Behold! Another crappy filler chapter? Hopefully I'll be able to pick this back up soon.**

**Sorry for disappearing though. I am super busy, plus I need to get back to work on my own original stuff, no matter how much I love this couple. :P**

**I'll be updating randomly. I promise not to totally abandon anything without warning, but my fics may become subject to going on hold for a month or so at random. Sorry. Too much to do and not enough time. By spring to summer, I'll try to maybe have some stuff stockpiled and get back to posting everyday for a while, can't promise anything now though.**

**And to each and every one of my reviewers, I offer cookies made of love... Or chocolate chips. *shrugs* Thank you all though! I can never get enough feedback. ^_^ Let me know what you think!**

**~•~**

It would take less then ten minutes to reach the invader's base. By the fifth, only half-way, Dib was seriously concerned.

Zim was completely leaned against the car door, the side of his forehead pressed against the window. He had turned a paler shade of green, and was absolutely glimmering with sweat and his uniform was damp with it, the red fabric darkened and clinging to his form even more then usual. Either it was Dib's imagination, or the extra-terrestrial's breaths were slowly getting quicker and shallower too. Zim looked wretchedly, agonizingly ill beyond a doubt.

The earthling had kept quiet, staring out his own window, until now that he'd looked over and more fully analyzed the irken just now. Now he had to say SOMETHING. He was getting very worried.

"Zim?"

Zim didn't hear him, or if he did, he didn't respond. That alone set off warning bells for the earthling.

"Hey! Zim?"

The Irken glanced up tiredly, face in a sick grimace. He cleared his throat and sat up a little more, eyes almost squinting, body slightly rigid, like someone waking up from deep sleep.

"D-Dib-human?"

"Yeah?" The boy leaned a little closer, completely uneased by all the endless symptoms his former enemy was showing, though a little more calm then before since Zim could at least still talk to him sensibly... Or it seemed like he could, so far.

"Tell the driver slave he must pull over somewhere and let us out."

Dib paused.

"We're not at your base yet."

"Zim knows... I-it is much to hot... We must find a building... With 'air conditioning.'... Very soon, or... Or Zim is going to vomit." Zim's voice was moany with a tip of urgency as he spoke.

Dib's eyes widened. The Irken was basically admitting that he couldn't take any more. Zim never admitted to 'weakness' unless something really was seriously, horribly, TRULY wrong.

Slowly, the boy nodded.

"Alright. I'll find us some place to stop at." Dib assured the other, and Zim lay back against the door with a shaky breath, leaving things to Dib while he rested his eyes half closed.

Looking out his window, Dib hurriedly scanned the area for street signs and landmarks, trying to figure out where they were. He knew many routes to Zim's base, and thought this one looked at least slightly familiar.

There were huge, ugly old apartments and businesses on either side of them now, but if one turned to the right up ahead, Dib was pretty sure there were a series of 'cute', small shops down that street; selling trinkets and candies, and being generally the kind of place that the girls at school talked about and met up at. Expensive yet charming it was, with shop staff who tended to be old cranky people who yelled at children, telling them not to touch anything. Well, seemed good enough, and it was definitely the closest option.

It WOULD have been perfect 'accidental date' material... But Dib wasn't much for tea-parties, and elegance, and shiny little beads, and he didn't believe Zim was either.

Dib got the driver's attention by tapping the back the man's seat's headrest, and bluntly told him the change in plans and where to let them off. Zim just kept sitting as he was, putting a good level of faith in the boy to get them somewhere decent- soon.

When the car turned the corner and stopped, Dib handed the driver his pay, unbuckled himself, and then had to help Zim, who was fumbling and growling at his own 'primitive earth restraints' his hands clumsily missing the button he was supposed to push and slipping from squeezing the whole seatbelt mechanism so hard with frustration.

The human got out on the left side of the cab, and walked around to the sidewalk. Zim had to put an enormous amount of effort into pushing his door open with a grunt, and climbing unsteadily out to then lean on his door and rest again, before he could begrudgingly close it.

Dib bit his lip. Poor Zim. The boy really hoped it was just the heat and nothing worse. What if he was sick? Could his immune system handle an earth virus?

The alien conqueror wobbled as the taxi pulled away, looking downright miserable, giving Dib a 'you better have a plan or I will eat you alive' expression. Dib gulped.

"Com'on. Right in here." The boy waved towards the entrance of the nearest shop, just a few steps down the sidewalk.

Dib barely managed to remind himself in time not to touch the alien; he had reached out, finding it only natural to offer Zim a light pull or something to lean on with his current state, but quickly withdrew when the invader twitched and jerked away with a defensive snarl.

"Sorry." Guiltily, Dib let his offered hand fall back to his side, looked away and scratched the back of his neck, before walking ahead to at least hold the door open for his 'lover'. Zim glared and shuffled alongside him and into the chosen building, murmuring out a garbled chant of "Stupidstupidstupidstupidstup id-"

Raising an eyebrow in cautious amusement, Dib wondered who exactly Zim was talking about, as he followed him in.

The extra terrestrial was still scowling at nothing in particular when he walked into the small, friendly looking, coffee and cakes shop that Dib had chosen at random.

After just standing blankly and hunched over for a minute, Zim finally took a deep, slow breath, and straitened his shoulders from their slumped position. There was air conditioning here. It was wonderfully cool, so much so that he felt he might go into shock. Nice and cold. Safety! Relief! The human had pulled through for him well!

With a grin, Dib watched in surprise as the invader seemed to completely un-wither within a few seconds.

Zim briefly stared up at the fans on the ceiling, wondering what would have happened if Dib hadn't been there to help. The human was indeed very valuable to have around.

That miserable earth's sun had HURT! Oh how painful it was! And he was saved! Saved by the Dib-Dib!

"Feeling better?" Asked a certain smiling, black-haired, big-headed earthling, who had just walked up beside the alien. Zim looked over at Dib, appearing very pleased, and nodding resolutely. In response Dib swelled with an almost twisted sort of pride.

He was doing good. If he could please Zim, Zim would grow to enjoy his company. That was something he wanted, something that would definitely help build a relationship. He could work with that bit of foundation.

"Yesss... Zim feels much better!" Purred the irken, tilting his chin up to look down his non-existent nose at the inferior world. Apparently the alien conqueror was indeed okay now. But then Zim frowned suddenly with a thought. "How long can we stay here without being kicked out for littering?"

"Uhhh... Oh, You mean loitering?"

Dib smirked, but Zim just glared and growled at the human for daring to correct him.

"I dunno. Maybe up to an hour, if we buy something..." Dib pulled his bundled up trench-coat out from under his arm and turned it around until he'd found the pockets.

"I have... Almost five dollars left from after paying the taxi guy. We can probably buy something..." Dib glanced up at the menu and prices board up behind the counter and made a face of near horror. "Something... very small... and plain."

Quite recovered from his heat-sickness, Zim waved a hand dismissively and managed a haughty smile.

"Save your monies, Zim will pay for the junky junk things."

Dib's mouth nearly dropped open when Zim pulled a considerable wad of hundreds out of his pocket as casually as ever to count them out.

Dib's dad was rich, probably the most well-known man on the face of the planet, and Dib could usually get how ever much money he wanted just by asking- but his father was rarely there to ask, and he found himself doing a lot of odd jobs to pay for what he needed just in order to live- like food. His dad didn't do the best job of keeping the fridge stocked.

How the heck did Zim get all that money? He could buy the whole restaurant and Dib barely had enough on him to offer the alien a nice drink!

Well great, now the poor boy felt like shit... So much for taking Zim out for their first semi-date... Dib was pretty sure the guy was supposed to pay, which meant he'd just been pretty much emasculated.

"Where did you get all that!?"

Zim looked up almost surprised at the question, as the two shuffled into the ordering line.

"Lots of ways." He began vaguely and Dib suspiciously narrowed his eyes. This was ZIM talking, after all.

"One of the first things an invader does on a planet they are to conquer, is to build a means of manufacturing the needed currency."

Oh, duh, made sense.

"-I also find plenty in the wallets of dead hobos."

Dib stared, but had to refrain from asking something like 'Do you often go looking for dead hobos?' Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he told himself he probably didn't want to know. Zim caught Dib's expression and grinned maniacly.

When they got up to the counter, Zim rudely demanded two enormous slices of the most decorative, expensive cake on the menu, and a cup of melted caramel with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Dib was surprised that no objections were raised to Zim's choice of 'drink'.

When Zim asked what disgusting, smelly earth beverage Dib wanted to drink, the boy looked away almost bashfully and asked for a very cheap, small coffee. Only his father had ever taken food orders and paid for dinner for the Membrane family- once a year. Being used to having to do everything for himself, Dib felt awkward, like he shouldn't be expecting so much of Zim, especially when he currently didn't have cash on him to return the favor. Awkwardly, the boy scratched at his arm, and fixed his eyes down at the dark-brown wood floor.

Zim stared incredulously and asked what Dib had said, as if he hadn't heard right, and Dib repeated what drink he'd asked for, looking up to see the invader giving him a 'you are an IDIOT' look that made him feel even more awkward.

Completely disregarding the boy's request, Zim got him something expensive, exotic looking, and chuck full of fudge-sauce, caramel, cream, and whatever the heck else.

They were told by a frighteningly caffeine-high, twenty year old cashier woman, to pick a table and wait for their order number to be called.

Zim was all too happy to march like a little nazi to a table in the corner, right under a fan, yelling at Dib to follow him, which the boy did, with no resistance.

Zim thumped himself into his seat and leaned back into it with a sigh of relaxation, putting his feet up on the table rudely yet importantly. Dib draped his jacket over the back of his own chair before sitting down and smiling across the table at the other.

For a couple of seconds, both parties were silent. Apparently Dib didn't care for that.

"Soooo..." Dib began, drumming his fingertips against the table. Seemed like a good time to start a random conversation.

Zim looked up in a business-like manner, opening one of his resting closed eyes, arms behind his head, feet still up on the table. "Yes?"

"You're okay now right? You seemed to get really sick or something."

"Of course I'm fine!" The irken exclaimed in his usual preening tone of arrogance, making a face that said he was surprised and offended by the inquiry.

"Zim is a mighty irken invader! A little heat is no threat to me! I am Zim!"

"So then, that WAS just from the heat, not, the... touching?" Biting his lip, Dib turned to face the window instead of the invader.

Dib was almost sure that the touching had at least been the ignition for Zim's random spell of faintness, but it would offer him a feeling of security or closure if he could know that the reason Zim got quite so badly off, was more from the temperature. He didn't want to have been the only one to cause all that. And he certainly didn't want that to be Zim's natural reaction to being touched, or he would NEVER be able to be intimate with his gorgeous little alien.

The taunting temptation from that perfect alien body would be AWFUL...

Zim rolled his eyes and made a 'Psh...' noise of dismissal.

That stupid earth monkey just had to bring that up again, didn't he? For some reason the mention of it offended Zim, but he masked it well.

He had no... weakness... Not to anything so stupid... He just didn't understand the tingles and feelings he got from it. His instincts screamed at him to be terrified, and he hated the lack of control. It just wasn't a good mixture altogether.

He just had to deny it all though. He had to insist he was more then fine.

"Nonsense! After five years Zim has almost gotten used to you grabbing at me trying to feel up my amazing body."

Zim grinned and flicked his fake hair back girlishly while Dib blushed at the mental images, mouth falling open slightly.

"I do not grab at you and-"

"Yes you do."

"N-no I don't!"

"Do to." The irken was grinning madly. Despite his innocent mindedness towards affection and reproduction and anything related to those, Zim still knew a couple things- like the fact that some of the ways Dib interacted with him, or some things he said, could be taken as suggestive- and were therefor hilarious... For some reason.

For that matter, it was amusing just to watch Dib flounder in embarrassment.

"And you LIKE it-"

"Zim knock it off, I've never grabbed at you like that,"

"You ran your hand up the inside of my thigh once..." The irken started to give an unnerving mix of chuckles and giggling, while Dib stuttered, facial expression going into shock. That bit... Wasn't even completely true. The problem was, it was very likely that it was also far from being completely false. Dib had gotten rather touchy in non-violent ways once or twice, during their most recent fights and wrestling matches, or just, when stalking Zim and trying to annoy him... And doing 'field research' on the extra-terrestrial. So he knew that sadly, it WAS possible.

It had been quite a while since any of that had happened though.

"I absolutely DID NOT do anything like that! Ever! And I would think I'd remember something like that..."

"Why, do you often think about doing such things?"

"I DIDN'T DO THAT!"

"Maybe not... But you DID try to grind hips during that fight with the Mortis-thing and my mutant vermin."

Could the earthling's face get any redder? No.

Dib threw his hands up, let his head tip back and slapped both palms down to rub his temples with a groan, in a show of maximum frustration and embarrassment.

"I did NOT!"

Zim just kept laughing. For some reason he enjoyed making Dib's cheeks go red.

"You sound just like my sister." Grumbled Dib, defensive and crossing his arms as he looked out the window.

At that last sentence, Zim calmed down slowly, cocked his head and raised his eyebrows.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because she was giving me trouble this morning too... Arguing... And... Stuff... I guess...About... You... Never mind..." The boy answered vaguely. With a heavy sigh, and a shrug of his shoulders, Dib dropped the subject and Zim let it fall.

Glancing at the counter, Dib guessed they'd probably have a few more minutes left until they'd get their orders. Zim had practically demanded two whole cakes after all. It was going to take a little while. They weren't the only people there either.

'And certainly not the only COUPLE.' Dib thought, pointedly noticing several other teens who appeared to have taken dates here. It made him feel out of place for some reason, to see boys and girls getting along so normally and boringly. All around him were paired male-female humans, and there he sat with a more or less gender-neutral alien, his former enemy, bent on conquering humanity and enslaving or killing Dib's whole species. They kind of stood out.

Zim just sat there, starting to lean back so the front legs of his chair came up off the floor, his feet still on the table to make up for that support while the back legs held all his weight, as Dib huddled back into his chair a bit more, clearing his throat subconsciously.

"You said you wanted me to come over to your base today,"

It was Dib starting the conversation again, the earthling's brown-red-gold eyes looking at Zim through his large, round glasses.

Zim had almost let that slip out of mind somehow. It had been a spur-of-the-moment invitation, and now it seemed like a bad idea. There were things that could go wrong, and even more things that Dib might find out about that Zim just didn't want him to know, not now, maybe not ever.

But he also didn't want to spend another long night alone, unable to sleep but with nothing to do, and no one to talk to.

"Did I say that? Yes, I suppose I did..." He murmured, brow furrowing just a tat as he scratched at the table with one claw, sitting back down normally.

"What are you thinking we'll, I mean, what should we do, while we're over there?" The human cocked his head in casual curiosity.

"I dunno." Unconcerned, the extra-terrestrial shrugged.

"Watch TV or whatever Zim supposes. And at some point YOU will have to go to sleep, since you humans need to recharge every night. Zim doesn't need sleep but... That IS how you'll be spending some time, being a human, I guess."

"W-wait..." Dib made a face of confusion.

"You mean, you're expecting me to stay overnight? Like- a sleepover?"

Dib was surprised, to say the least, and it wasn't a particularly bad or good surprise. It was just... Surprise. The human wasn't sure what to make of it.

The irken shrugged again.

"Well I assumed so. Zim doesn't know, how long were YOU planning on staying?"

"I... I don't know. My dad's never set any sort of curfew... It IS a Saturday tomorrow so I wouldn't have to be worrying about school the next day after all, but still!"

"Why would staying at Zim's overnight be such a big deal anyway?" The irken wondered aloud, still trying to scratch his name into the surface of the table with one of his claws.

"Well, humans don't normally sleep over at other's houses except for something special, like a party. And not long ago you would never have let me in and out of there alive, so, I guess it seems strange to me."

Zim finally stopped etching at the table to examine his sharp little talons currently hidden inside his black rubber gloves.

"As long as Dib does not go sneaking around down in the base, breaking things, or taking Zim's stuff, you probably won't have to worry about Zim killing you. Just stay up in the 'house.' and away from the base without my supervision."

With a nervous chuckle, Dib nodded.

In a few more minutes, their order number was called.

The two ate in relative silence, Zim with his mouth too full of his surgery treats to get a sound out, and Dib watching him in his usual curiosity.

Apparently the irken hadn't eaten in a while, or at least, he acted like it. In the time Dib had mouse-nibbled away a few spoons of cake, and taken several sips of his coffee, Zim had finished the entire thing of his own, and was licking out his glass of caramel, in between jealous glances at Dib's food.

After a moment he asked the blunt, popular question;

"You gunna eat that?"

"Eh, not all of it. I'm not that hungry."

Dib cut off the rest of what he thought he'd eat with a white, plastic fork, and watched in mildly sickened amusement as Zim shoved the rest into his mouth with his gloved hands.

The alien's behavior was surprising. Normally Zim was such a finicky eater. Dib wondered if he just really liked the cake, or if something was... Wrong, in some way, to have him so ravenous.

Zim had decided to pick up his plate and lick it clean, having nothing better to do- and no manners- while Dib finished his own food.

However Dib found it a little hard to focus on eating.

Zim's tongue... Was so... Alien.

Dark fleshy red, completely smooth and slimy looking, lacking all the little bumps of a human or other mammalian tongue. It had slight ridges down the length of it and the irken had such insane control of the muscle as he swirled it around to catch every little crumb, and slide along the edges of his plate meticulously. It could practically be considered another limb it was so prehensile. It seemed like it could reach out pretty far from Zim's mouth too...

Dib involuntarily licked his own lips, face warming up, cheeks going cherry-red yet again.

...

He'd never kissed anyone before...

...

Field research on alien tongues anyone? No? No one in favor of that?... Where were crazy head-voices when you needed them? Yep, he was insane...

Clearing his throat, flustered, Dib forced himself to look away while Zim slammed his plate down to lick out his clear glass cup that had held caramel before.

Of course, when the alien started making loud, bored, sucking noises Dib had to glance up again.

Lick, lick, lick, swirl, tongue moving like a funny, pointed-ended red snake...

Dib swallowed thickly and looked away yet again, just as Zim finally noticed him. Without removing his tongue from the glass, Zim murmured a barely comprehensible something, that sounded like;

"Dib u shmell funnah agan. Ur keep gibing off hohmone shmell tings 'round Zhim..." The irken finally pulled his 'red snake/prehensile limb thing' back into his mouth and smacked his dark green lips, satisfied that he'd gotten all the sugar he possibly could off both plate and cup. Dib was still watching him entranced, dazedly trying to make sense of the previous jumbled sentence.

"Huh?"

Setting his glass down, Zim looked right at the boy, leaned across the top of the table, and poked him in the chest.

"Why do you keep giving off those hormones?"

"I, Hormones? What, I am?"

"Hmmm, yes, and it smells like... Sweat."

Dib averted his gaze, not really interested in answering, but Zim continued poking him.

"Why are you giving off hormones?"

"I-I don't know! It's completely subconscious.

"Hmm, I see..."

Zim leaned back into his own chair, and Dib drummed his fingers on the table before getting up. "Should we try to get going back to your base again now?"

Frowning when he thought about it, Zim sighed.

"Hmm, Zim thinks... No, its too hot!... Zim does not want to sit here though. It's just... Too far... With the heat."

"Well... We can't stay here much longer..."

When Dib glanced up, the cashier was looking right at the two of them, with an expression that asked impatiently if they were going to buy something, or if she could stop pretending to be so happy and friendly.

Zim frowned, the corners of his lips twitching downwards in a grimace, at the thought of baring with another five minute ride in a searing hot, smelly taxi.

"Maybe we could walk down the street a bit, and find a different shop that we can just, hang out in?"

If what they were in was a little more of a coffee shop, and a little less of a restaurant, Dib would've been happy enough to hang around and find a means of amusement on his laptop. As it was, the place still looked cute as ever, but it was notably less friendly.

The irken perked right up, slamming a fist down on the table in enthusiastic decision.

"VERY WELL! Let's go!"

And just like that the irken had leapt up and started walking out.

Dib made a series of little, 'wuh, oh, a-oh!' noises, before trotting after him.

Upon cheerfully kicking open the doors and marching outside, Zim once again felt the heat hit him in a wave, and nearly toppled right over in the shock of it. This was even worse then that day he'd had to sell candies! He could never remember the planet being so hot before...

"You alright?"

Rushing over, Dib half extended one arm, but hesitated. Zim waved him off again while he righted himself.

"Of course, of course, let's just, hurry and find, another shelter, or something, QUICKLY HUMAN!"

Losing his sympathy after that dismissal, Dib murmured something about having to decide everywhere they went so far, only to be interrupted by a startling, rapturous squeal of glee that, for several seconds, Dib was sure couldn't possibly have come from the alien conqueror. But it had.

Zim had run on just one or two shops ahead to press his face against the glass and look in at a display of... Beads and charms?

Dib took several seconds to wrap his mind around that while Zim pointed Into the store with a look of sheer jubilation.

Well, Zim liked pink things, his minions all looked like plushies, so when he thought about it, Dib supposed shiny beads weren't too odd of a fetish for the 'unfeeling irken conqueror.' Besides, a military race like the irken's had probably never HEARD of such a thing as 'precious stones'.

The next thing he knew, the human was being ordered to follow as Zim ran inside the store and went strait for a bucket full of fragile looking glass bits, laughing his signature creepy laugh.

Aside from the irken being yelled at for touching everything, and Dib getting bored and searching for ANYTHING that might resemble an amulet with magical powers, not too much worth talking about happened in the next half hour...

Except for clouds pulling in to cover the sun, and Zim eventually getting kicked out when he nearly broke a glass angel statue.

The invader was most thoroughly cheerful when he exited the store with a heavy bag chuck full of random, sparkly, polished things, as well as flat-out feminine JEWLRY, which Dib was having a very hard time not teasing him over, and the two found the temperature MUCH more bearable.

Zim did NOT like the roar of distant thunder though.

Staring up at the sky stupidly, Zim frowned, eyes searching over the grey-black sky, before turning to his new minion.

"Dib-thing? That noise means a storm is coming yes?"

"Uhm, yeah, it definitely looks like it."

"With rain-water-ness?"

"Yeah... That's kinda... Part of the definition of a storm Zim."

Dib smiled nervously while Zim furrowed his brow in anxiousness.

"We must get to Zim's base quickly. Let us find another yellow car! TAXI-THING!"

"What time is it?"

"Eh, what? Why?"

Dib pointed towards a buss stop just a block or so away.

"I think it's right around four thirty. There's a bus that comes by here. We can get dropped off at the stop by your cul-de-sac."

"My what?"

"Where you live Zim."

"Oh... Very well then. FOLLOW ZIM HUMAN!"

Of course the alien charged ahead to claim the bench, and with an oddly fond sigh, Dib followed.

He was enjoying today, having a better time then he'd had in a long time, and Zim seemed to be happy as well. Dib found himself smiling. He couldn't remember having felt this happy in a long time...


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm glad you guys, (or at least some of you) are still enjoying this, as the last chapter or two have felt like a lot of filler without much plot advancement to me. It should pick up soon though, but it you want your daily serving of plot now, may I suggest checking out some of my other fanfics to those who haven't already? I write a lot, and have plenty to offer, and will continue to cough up my lovely, sometimes downright strange story ideas, for as long as I can. ;)**

**For now, all I sakis that you leave a review! Tell me what you liked or didn't, and offer any insight, ideas, or constructive criticism you may have for me. Half of my job in the art of writing is to evolve my skills, and that usually works better and faster with the help of others. Thank you~!**

**~•~**

"Dib-human?"

"Yes Zim?"

"Taking the bus was your idea, not mine, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Zim nodded in a 'that's what I thought' sort of way.

"It was a stupid idea. Zim does not like buses."

Dib just sighed.

The large, noisy, packed vehicle bumped its way along the roads, pausing far too often as it got caught in thick traffic. Outside it had drizzled slightly once, then stopped for a while now. The sky continued to get darker and Zim was restless at the prospect that the worst was yet to come.

There were all sort of unsavory passengers seated around them, and Zim felt sure that they were all watching him, and eyeing up his newest possessions. He hugged his bag of new shiny things tighter, and scooted just slightly closer to Dib. If anyone tried to steal 'them', or even TOUCH 'them'; referring to both the jewelry and the Dib-monkey; they'd get a spider-leg through the gut.

When they'd been sitting at the bus stop, and Dib had asked Zim what exactly he planned on using all the jewelry, beads, etc. on, he had so intelligently responded, "SOMETHING AMAZING!"

The truth was he didn't have a clue. He was just fascinated by all the strange little... things. He'd never seen anything like precious metals, shaped glass, or such intricately carved wood before in all his one hundred and fifty or so earth years worth of life. Irkens simply didn't have art. It intrigued him beyond any normal level. He liked how the light glittered off them. He liked the colors, and appreciated the thought put into the designs. It was an almost instinct level attraction. Were he to pay more attention to his own thought patterns, he probably would have chided himself for allowing such primitive impulses to take over.

As things were however...

Heck, he'd probably just find a way to wear all of it- all at once, all over himself, just super-glue it all to his clothes or something. It would make him feel more powerful, established, and attractive. Yeah. Or something. Cause he was Zim. Lord of... Fabulous... Amazing...-ness. Yeah.

The invader stared out the window for another long portion of time until he grew irritated. This was taking too long. It was getting dark out from clouds. It was going to rain soon, and they weren't even going strait to his base! Which meant that by the time they were on route 'home', the sky would already be dropping water on them like it got some sick pleasure out of getting people wet. Zim was sure it laughed at him every time he ran home smoking and sizzling... Or at least... If the atmosphere COULD laugh at him he was certain it would be. Stupid sadistic atmosphere. Curse it.

Since Zim had wanted Dib to stay at his lair overnight, the human had to go to HIS house first and fetch some things. That was why they weren't going strait to Zim's base and why they were going to wind up caught in the storm.

Stupid, needy human. As if Zim's supplies weren't good enough for Dib- WHO WAS INFERIOR BY THE WAY! Scowling, Zim fidgeted in his seat for the third time in a single minute.

The irken shifted and growled.

Ahh well. Couldn't be helped. He wasn't sure why he felt that way but...

Maybe it was this... What did humans call it? Depression? That sounded right. Maybe that was what was making him just a little less himself. Less aggressive, not nesecarily rolling with the punches, but definitely going with the flow, letting life's current pull him half-way to wherever it wanted before finally putting a foot down in his usual self-centered behaviorisms.

He really hoped Dib had a nice big umbrella. He could always steal a rain coat from the earthling but... Something about umbrellas, and the idea of Dib holding one for both of them, like a good little slave-monkey, made his chest warm strangely.

"How much longer until we reach the stop-thing?"

"Uhh, I don't really know this area. From how long we've already been going though, - no wait, what's...Is that... Yup! Haha! What do you know? Here we are!"

Dib smiled and Zim made a pleased noise before flinching at the screaming bus brakes. His antenna felt pinched and he reached up to hold his hair-piece down tighter over them, trying to block out the noise.

Noticing the reaction with concern, his smile dropping like a stone, Dib felt that guilty pull when he moved to offer comfort, then remembered he couldn't. It was an awful feeling.

Not being able to touch wasn't working out for Dib. To put it more accurately, he was mentally pulling his hair out trying to hold down his desire to hug and cuddle up against Zim at every opportunity, like when they sat beside each other like this. It was difficult. He was starved for attention and contact. It was a base-instinct-life-impacting desire. He couldn't even find any memories of gentle touch within his mind. He couldn't even guess what it might be like. And from Zim...

Was the alien as warm as a human? What did he smell like? What would the texture of his skin and clothes be?

Dib looked away and swallowed thickly.

Once the bus had stopped completely, Dib got up and made space for Zim to do the same, as the irken had taken a window seat and was now trapped in place by the larger being.

Leaping out the open bus doors, right after *his* earthling, Zim flinched yet again at another distant rumble of thunder, and then the noisy bus as it started up again. Those screeching tires-brakes-engine-noises or whatever it was, was simply vomit-inducingly wretched.

Zim flinched, then shook his fist and loudly snarled something not to be repeated at the bus driver, who didn't seem to notice.

It was going to rain, and the alien's feelers were already aching from the sounds and smells in that transportation vehicle. At times like these he just wanted to take a rocket launcher and a few grenades and just go to town- wait, where were they going again? Right, Dib's house. A block or two away. Let the walking begin!

Running to cut in front of Dib and be the leader, Zim grinned back at the boy victoriously, before involuntarily reverting to his stuff legged march he'd used so often after first coming to earth.

Fondly, Dib smiled, and tried not to laugh. The sugar from the cake and coffee, not to mention the caffeine, and the warmth in his stomach against the now cooler air, had put him in a great mood. And Zim... Zim was just wonderful... His presence made Dib happy.

Thunder rumbled again and the invader jumped, forsaking his dignified march in exchange for panicked squeaking and running all the way to the Membrane residence.

Dib was caught between laughing or complaining, and instead kept quiet. Loyally, he ran after Zim.

~•~

Slamming open the door to his new 'mate's' house, Zim threw his hands in the air with his favorite proclamation of; "I AM ZIIIIM!"

Dib giggled softly as he walked around Zim, shivering under the assault of the air conditioner, turned way up to combat the earlier heat wave. Dib was heading for the stairs up to his room.

"This'll only take a minute."

Having been looking around the entrance room with his hands on his hips, and considering turning on the television, Zim snapped his head around to look at Dib.

"IT BETTER! Zim does not wish to be covered in the liquids your atmosphere leaks! So hurry human! Chop chop or whatever your species says."

Oh, right! The umbrella! Zim's face reflected that sudden remembered idea, and he scampered off to go look for one as Dib laughed at him softly again, trying to hide it while hurrying up the stairs.

Call him a xenophiliac, but Zim was adorable...

As he departed from the irken to be more on his own again, Dib couldn't help the wide smile spreading across his face again, and the warm, fuzzy, HAPPY feeling spreading out from his heart; or was that just some weird new ache in his breastbone? Zim. Zim. Zim. Zim said yes. They were together. He'd been accepted by someone. He'd been accepted by the ultimate, otherworldly creature he'd obsessed over and fallen in love with.

Zim had accepted him! Him! Dib! The boy who was kicked all over the school and belittled and made fun of. Zim accepted him. He never really believed this could happen no matter how badly he wanted it- BUT IT HAD. Oh, sweet, sweet joy...

In the doorway of his bedroom, Dib was stopped by a sudden voice.

"Where have you been?"

Oh yeah, Gaz. He never told her any of his plans, had he?

"I've been with Zim," He answered as he turned around to look at her, perhaps a little too happily, trying to calm down over his former inner monologue of happiness, so his random heavenly attitude wouldn't make her think anything overly weird had happened to him. Gaz raised an eyebrow, easily noticing the remnants of his twitchy, ecstatic smile. Awkwardly, Dib scratched the back of his neck.

"Uhm, yeah, so, I'm going over to his place now, I'll be back later, or some time tomorrow."

Gaz raised her eyebrows even more and crossed her arms.

"You're planning on staying at your enemy's base, overnight? And what, SLEEP there? That's like, a whole new kind of stupid. What the hell is WRONG with you?!"

Frowning, his smile killed, Dib looked away nervously and fidgeted.

"I-I don't know, it's not like... I don't think he'd hurt me in my sleep... Anymore... he's been really nice... And *sincere*..."

"And you honestly don't think he'd easily fake both of those and use you for whatever he wants?"

"... N-no, I mean..."

"You know he'd have no trouble with that, you just don't wanna believe it."

Dib paused. Gaz did sort of have a point that he hadn't dared to think about, despite it's importance.

"... No. I really don't want to believe that, and I know it's true that he *could* be faking everything to just use me, but, he's been... I REALLY think he-"

"If you're going to rely on what you think, you better think hard. Hard enough to get past any delusions. Look Dib, I kidded with you this morning but in reality, I don't like this."

"You don't have to like it, it's my life."

Dib looked back over with a light hurt expression that was quickly changing to anger. Gaz glared back.

"It may very well be your life, but I don't want to get stuck picking up the pieces. I'm not saying I'll do anything against you being with Zim and all, I just want you to be CAREFUL, okay?"

Both expressions slowly softened, and Dib nodded.

"I will," He responded quietly. "Don't worry."

"Of course I'm worrying a little." Gaz huffed.

"You're my brother. An annoying, stupid one often, but still. You're basically the only family I can say I have. Our dad's practically inexistant, and you do all the shopping and most of the chores. I'm not interested in doing either of those so don't get crippled or anything."

Dib smiled.

"I'll do what I can."

"Good, and if Zim really is being 'nice' then just don't traumatize him with hormonal teenager desires."

Dib glared back at her, starting to blush embarrassedly, as Gaz walked back down the hall to her own room.

~•~

"You take too long human! Zim has been waiting! And it is going to rain!"

"I-I know, sorry."

Dib apologized to the irken laying sprawled out boredly yet self-importantly on a couch, as the human thumped hurriedly and not-gracefully downstairs, a backpack strapped over one shoulder.

"Gaz wanted to talk to me about something. We can go now though. Do you want to borrow a rain coat?"

Standing up stiffly, Zim dusted himself off, muttering a reply of "Yes, I will take one of your primitive coats, and you shall carry THIS for me. I AM ZIM!"

The alien thrust out the umbrella he'd been holding, grinning at Dib and waiting expectantly for him to take it from his clawed hand, which the earthling did.

"Alright."

He was more then sure Zim could carry that umbrella himself, but hey, he could play gentleman. He just wanted to get Zim to like and approve of him.

He'd do whatever it took.

...

Gaz was right, he was going to be taken advantage of, wasn't he?

Hmm, which would he rather have? His dignity? Or Zim?

The irken flashed him a predator's smile as they walked to the door, sharp, white alien teeth gleaming dangerously.

Somehow the shivers Dib got helped him decide that question, going in the direction opposite from the one expected.

Zim.

Pffsh. As if he'd ever had any dignity he could have chosen over Zim. His self image was long shattered. Dignity? No thanks. He'd rather grovel at the feet of his enemy begging for hugs.

"I-I'll Uhm, get the raincoats out of the closet."

~•~

Stepping out through the door, Dib opened the umbrella as soon as there was space to do so. It wasn't really raining yet, but he thought he saw a drop, and then another somewhere else, and was that another over there? Oop! Yep! One just got him in the face. Dib shook his head reflexively and held up the umbrella. It would be best to be safe. Not to mention Zim was looking all around with twitchy paranoia.

"Here you go."

Dib held the umbrella out with a smile, so Zim could either shelter under it, or take it himself. The invader chose to just stand under it, hugging himself from nerves at the rain and a chilly breeze, leaving Dib to hold it for him. The earthling re-shouldered his backpack and sighed. His hands were full and his backpack was kind of heavy. Could he hold out the umbrella like he currently was for the entire walk without his arm getting really sore, tired, and shaky?

Consideringly, Dib looked at Zim, who was now wearing a much too big, bright yellow rain coat, the hood drooping into his face so he had to bat it cutely out of his line of vision every thirty seconds. The edges came down several inches past the alien's hands for the sleeves, and at his knees for the bottom of the coat in general.

Dib found himself smiling and blushing again as the first few rain drops began to hit the umbrella in succession.

For Zim, of course he could carry an umbrella out for a while.

He wondered if his arm would mind though.

~•~

Zim's house wasn't much of a walk away, but the storm came in fast.

The rain was pouring down on the large umbrella so thickly that there was practically a thin, broken curtain of water pouring off it.

However Dib couldn't bring himself to care; because when faced with either getting wet or getting close enough to be touching Dib, Zim had pressed right up against him and after several minutes of that, had gotten comfortable enough to cling to his earthling's arm.

Which was a big deal.

They'd already established clearly that Zim had a problem with being touched, or touching, but apparently he had less of a problem when he was the initiator. Either way, Dib was just exstatic to have some friendly physical contact. He was smiling widely, as they walked up to the door of the color-raped house, the earthling looking around twitching as the gnomes followed him with their eyes. Horrible little robotic monstrosities. He had permanent burn marks in embarrassing places thanks to them and their lazors.

So, that was how grumpy, territorial irkens said 'get off ma lawn annoyin kiddies!' Facinating.

They stopped at the door, and Dib looked down at Zim to see him just staring ahead thoughtfully.

"So... The Dib does WANT to stay with Zim for a while yes? Zim is not forcing you after all."

The irken's shoulders hunched ever so slightly. Only someone as observant as Dib could ever have caught it. The human felt a sense of worry pass into him from Zim.

"Yes, of course, why not?"

Zim drew in a deep breath, as he reached up and turned the knob, opening the door.

"It's just that there's a very slight possibility you're going to get involved in a lot more then you might have expected... Never mind. L-let's get out of this cursed wateryness."

With a wordless nod, Dib followed Zim inside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Woo! This is a lot easier to write then My Tallest. Not sure why. I have no ideas for where to go with this either... Well... I have a few. Please offer ideas though. What do you like to do at sleepovers that might help Zim and Dib's relationship or even turn into something affectionate?**

**In the meantime, have some mildly sexy fluff! CONTAINS ZADR! If you haven't figured that out yet something's wrong with you.**

**Please read and review! Please! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, or if it just seems kind of blah and needs something. I'd especially like suggestions for things Zim and Dib can do. Date ideas anyone? (Preferably things Dib would be able to think of that Zim would be willing to be dragged to. XP)**

**Enjoy!**

**~•~**

Dib still couldn't quite believe the trust being so easily put on him, when he thought about it. He swore to himself he would not let Zim regret it. To be allowed to sleep over at the alien's base...

It wasn't like Zim was putting himself in any danger of being murdered in his sleep. Irkens rarely if ever needed rest, so it could practically be said that they never slept. In those terms, Dib was actually the one displaying trust, to think of sleeping in the invader's lair.

Normally he would have never thought of actually sleeping at this 'sleep-over,' but he'd gotten no sleep at all for too many nights in a row. He'd stay up all hours of the night, staring at his computer, watching Zim through his cameras, feeding his sickly addiction to the gloriously strange creature from the stars. Last night, it had gone a little too far, but strangely enough that had turned out to be a good thing for his health, maybe, for the most part, because after shutting off his computer from guilt, exhaustion had seen to it that he'd gotten a good long rest he hadn't felt the like of in goodness knew how long.

This 'sleeping' thing made Dib feel good the next morning. His body and mind begged him to do it again.

This relationship would require trust. Dib was willing to take the risk and go first in showing it, to go to sleep here if situations allowed. He was the desperate one after all.

However even though Dib was the one exercising trust on this particular point, that did not mean in the slightest that Zim had nothing to exercise trust on in this. Everything besides that sleeping thing actually put Zim at risk.

Zim was letting his former enemy into his home, in what was obviously a time of weakness for him. He'd refused to speak a word of that, and it made Dib die in want of the knowledge to tell him what was going on. What had made the strong alien cry those several times he'd seen?

There was no end to the damage Dib could do here; vandalism, theft, breaking things, etc.

Dib didn't know it much but for Zim, this house was but the last tiny remaining shell of everything that had once made him confident and safe. His comfort zone, his territory and his possessions.

A shell of what it once was to him.

The irken had lost a lot.

That was part of why he'd agreed to be with Dib. He could gain something back, secure some territory to make up for how much he'd had to surrender. He could 'gain' Dib. As something that would be his. Something secure.

Something the problems in the irken empire couldn't take away from him.

It would aid, perhaps, in making him feel better and sorting his life out.

Zim was short. Wars with the resistance were growing more and more brutal and weren't going well for the irken empire. Taller Irkens were more important then Zim in irken logic- simply because they were taller. They could come in and take whatever they claimed they 'needed.'

They could release their stress on him. Punch, kick, threaten. Predatory races grew vicious under pressure and Irkens were no excuse. They could beat him up in his own base, and it would be considered criminal for Zim, a shorter, to even defend himself against them.

For Zim, he'd lost more in terms of these strange new emotions and feelings then in physical objects. This was his home, but after countless attacks and robberies, he didn't feel safe in it anymore. He felt violated. In all honesty he felt terrified.

So much... Confusion... Anxiety...

"So..."

Zim looked up, confused at why Dib felt the need to say such a random, pointless word as 'so' and then leave it hanging there in the air. What a waste of sound waves. Perhaps it was just that the invader been quiet for a long time and the earthling wanted to start conversation.

"What?"

"Uhm..."

A long pause followed and Zim huffed. This could hardly even be called a conversation. It was going nowhere very, very fast.

The two beings sat on the couch. Zim was laying on his side, legs curled up to him, flipping through the channels with the remote in one hand. Dib sat next to him.

When they'd come inside, after taking off the raincoats, Zim had gone strait to the couch to sit as if out of habit, searching for something they might find interesting to watch on the earth information box.

Having not known what else to do, Dib had dropped his backpack at the foot of the couch, and sat down beside the alien, companionably and politely.

They'd sat there for over five minutes now. So far Dib's first 'sleep over' wasn't too exciting.

Zim wasn't pleased with how it was going either. He'd brought Dib here so he might have something more interesting to do then what he'd wound up doing and was doing now out of habit.

Hundreds of channels yet nothing to watch...

Actually, Dib was concerned.

Zim was having mood swings it seemed. They were a bit gradual, but Dib had noticed them. Not only that, but the alien simply wasn't himself.

He seemed depressed. Very depressed. Sometimes he seemed to 'snap back' and start acting like himself again, but even then that attitude and that part of his personality were both lacking something, and they couldn't take root and grow back into him to last very long.

"Do you... Maybe... Wanna do something?"

Zim very much wanted that, but his mind blanked when he tried to think of something to do. Not only that, but right now he felt weakened with fatigue. The couch was just so comfortable... though... No, no it really wasn't. Either way though, Zim couldn't make himself get up. So he just tried the first sentence that came to mind to keep a conversation going.

"Does Dib not like TV?"

Looking away, the human shifted uncomfortably and picked at his nails; Zim noticed with a slight wince that some were particularly short and even a tiny bit bloody. The prey species earthling needed to stop chewing on them when he got nervous.

"Well... We haven't exactly found anything cool to watch in the whole time we've been sitting here... At least, you haven't stopped... To watch anything... I dunno. If you want to keep looking though, th-that's fine."

Instantly apologetic. Catering to whatever Zim wanted. Dib was walking on pins and needles to please him and the irken was brought into a slightly better mood over it. The submission was most placating to the predatorial, dominating alien. Normally he would have been quite proud over it but... Right now he just felt... Funny.

Oh irk, he really hoped he wasn't getting sick. That heat had been too much for him. His pak had been handling it okay until Dib wanted to touch him. After that... It must have been too overwhelming, too new to feel something like that now that his emotional filter had snapped when all his pak energy was already going to his heat regulation. After that... Touching... his pak completely failed at keeping his temperature steady.

He felt heavy, maybe dizzy. He wanted to close his eyes, not think, just... Pretend to be dead? He wasn't sure what it was. Maybe he'd just gone much too long without a pak re-charge. That must be it. So that would mean... This was what it was like when his body started going into natural recharge? To be sleepy? He didn't think he liked it. Not at all.

No. He refused to sleep. He was a mighty irken. He would not look weak. Not now.

Not when he had potential new 'territory' to impress. Not when Dib was here.

He couldn't look weak.

Stay awake. Had to look strong. Overcome weakness.

...

Overcome weakness...

Hmm...

Come to think of it... He may have found a way to stay awake, and something interesting to do as well.

Zim looked over at Dib analytically.

The human was doing his best to be all polite and un-bothersome and just go along with what Zim was doing, trying hard not to look bored, which was hard when he also wasn't letting himself stare at Zim. He had to stop himself from that almost constantly.

Okay so, with the heat and Dib being the 'aggressive one' if it could be called that, their earlier attempt at physical contact had failed. Zim still intended to get over this weakness towards touch though.

Perhaps that was only because the desire for sleep was messing with his judgement, but he was getting a little excited with his new plan. Enough so that he finally forced himself to sit up, and decidedly set down the remote.

"Yes. We should do something." The alien finally agreed. Dib looked up happily, to find Zim looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. It seemed almost judging... But it seemed to be an approving judgement. Still, Dib was not prepared for what the irken said next.

"I'm going to touch you."

It was the most awkward matter-of-fact sort of statement Dib thought he'd ever heard and it sounded oh so very wrong and his cheeks turned beet red and he just stared for quite a long time. Zim stared back, apparently waiting for something and seeming confused when Dib stuttered nervously.

"Uh, t-t-yo-you... W-want... You want... T-to...?!"

"Yes."

Dib couldn't possibly have heard right. This must be an... Audial hallucination. That must be it. This just wasn't real... But Zim had answered, and was talking to him, looking at him most seriously, and then he reached out.

Dib felt frozen. He felt Zim's clawed, three fingered hand press firmly into the center of his chest, pushing him back. He felt blood rush to his face. Now it was his turn to experience an over-heated sensation. The poor, mentally unstable human practically had a mini-heart attack when he suddenly found himself forced to lay back against the arm of the couch, with Zim leaning over him, blocking the light so it formed a halo around him and added a dark shadow to his features, accented so gorgeously by those swirling red optics that the paranormal investigator was simply hypnotized.

Zim wouldn't really... He surely couldn't mean...

No one... Dib had never imagined anyone would actually consider him like that. He hoped desperately but he'd always felt it had been against reason. Even if Zim were doing this just for scientific curiosity, the thought of being touched, nicely... caressed...

The human felt dizzy. Dib was about ready to melt or faint simply because at the offering of this he wanted it so badly.

As he pushed the human back, Zim found himself drawn foreword, looming over the earthling as if Dib were trapped prey and Zim was the predatorial creature his species used to be so long ago.

Power. Sweet power and control.

Victory.

Prey.

There was something so utterly alluring in those wide, reddish brown eyes, flecked with gold, watching him from behind glasses, broadcasting a nervous submission, and... An anticipation... A strong, pulling, hopeful desire that Dib didn't dare voice beyond a hint in his expression that managed to show itself. A desire Zim didn't consciously understand, but subconsciously reveled in.

But that hint of fear was beyond tantalizing.

Zim was drawn, pulled by that look and something so simply primitive that it was undeniable.

The human male was at his mercy. Zim wanted to exert his control, to touch him. And so Zim moved, face blank except for curiosity, eyes on Dib who was still staring up and unable to move as he gripped the couch under him fretfully, waiting.

A three fingered hand pressed to the exact center of Dib's ribcage and stayed there, the claws flexing slightly to rub the skin through the shirt.

So slowly.

It started to slide down and Dib tried not to shudder too visibly, gripping the couch cushion under him so his knuckles turned white. His eyes almost started slipping closed. He could feel the warmth, and Zim's tiny weight, from where the alien was straddling his waist. He could feel an almost gentle hand pressed to him, sliding down his chest to count his ribs. He was laying trapped under another being, staring up into big, beautiful red eyes surrounded by flawless jade skin and it all just felt so intimate.

Dib swallowed heavily and that tiny action drew Zim's attention to the earthling's throat. Both his hands moved up without another thought. Hesitating only a moment, Zim pressed one talon to the vulnerable, pale neck, almost in a chocking hold, but light. Keeping his touch light and undamaging was at least slightly easier then he'd thought it would be.

Dib jerked slightly under the alien, gasping just the tiniest bit at the touch against so vital an area; so sensitive an area, bare skin, uncovered by his shirt.

Zim moved his hand as seemed natural, rubbing his fingers against the skin in complete and total fascination at the texture, and Dib felt a pleasurous wave run down through him. It was so easy to tip his head back in dangerous submission, yet so hard to hold back just one little moan. The tiny hint of sound caught on Zim's antenna, and he saw the human biting his lower lip, eyes narrowed slightly as if in concentration, face flushed.

Intrigued, the irken brought up the hand not currently threatening to choke Dib, and rested it to his cheek, cupping his face, to feel the reddened skin, wondering about the reason for the color change. Dib immediately looked at him, making eye-contact.

His eyes.

That unnamable raw emotion Zim didn't understand. That look that spelled submission so perfectly.

Zim's hand on Dib's throat twitched, so tempted to sink in his claws and squeeze, watch those big eyes, watch the expression change.

No, he told himself, he had no real need to hurt Dib now.

Instead, from that thought came another. Dib seemed to be feeling... Something strange. Something that might, if Zim was reading it correctly... Might be able to make him squirm. Zim thought he'd like that.

He really was so clueless about everything. But what he was doing now felt... Correct. Good. Niiiiice.

Zim's thumb stroked Dib's cheek, his other hand so lightly brushing his throat. Zim was experimenting. Watching for results.

Dib's eyebrows pinched together and up, as if pained or frightened... But he wasn't hurt. Zim didn't understand this.

Touch was affection. Why was Dib's reaction to affection... Seemingly so close to his reaction to pain? Zim would think he would be smiling or looking more happy and less... Desperate.

As unreasonable as the reaction seemed, Zim suddenly realized very clearly that he liked it.

And he wondered... How much more of a reaction could he get, just out of this exploration for scientific curiosity, and a bit of gentleness or affection?

Zim rubbed his thumb across Dib's cheek, sliding it down to rest on the edge of his lower lip, the claw almost in the earthling's mouth. Dib's eyes grew even wider, and, oh sweet deliciousness- the human TREMBLED.

It was so slight, but Zim felt it and such an intense wave washed over him at the simple knowledge. He could make Dib tremble beneath him.

Oh the POWER he held now.

Under him, Dib was breathing heavier, his chest rising and falling, causing the invader to move with the human's breaths ever so slightly as he was straddling him.

Dib was still utterly stuck. Not thinking. He didn't want to think. Thinking told him this seemed strange and that he shouldn't allow it, but he'd never had it. For all he knew he'd never have it again.

The poor human was simply so desperate, so mentally unstable and full of longing, that if Zim knew anything about it Dib would probably let the alien have him completely right there.

Zim was only touching him. But it felt sooooo good.

The veins in Dib's neck pulsed heavily and hot, calling to Zim. His hand on the human's face slid down to that vulnerable, soft throat, and Zim pressed his finger tips a little harder, his big, red eyes never leaving Dib's face. The effect Dib felt was massaging and his eyelids fell half closed, his upper lip twitched slightly in a funny sort of grimace. The smallest, quickest noise, left Dib's throat. It was just enough however, to be considered a real moan.

Dib snapped a little more back to himself and bit his tongue when Zim immediately slowed at the sound, eyes widening, antennas perking up. His face continued to burn red. They... They should stop... But he COULDN'T tell Zim to stop. He just couldn't.

Oh tallest... That- that noise! He'd... With simple touches, Zim had made Dib MOAN.

The alien couldn't believe it. A moan! He'd wrung a moan out of Dib! As in a noise of torture or agony, that meant he'd succeeded in inflicting some forceful action on Dib! It wasn't pain though, he wasn't hurting Dib... Why?

Overwhelming! That was it! Dib was simply so overwhelmed at the HONOR of being touched affectionately, that he'd moaned.

Ohhhhh, Zim liked this.

That neck...

Zim's gaze finally left Dib's face to look down at that heated column of exposed skin. The predator in him stirred. His mouth watered unexplainably and he licked his lips without a thought.

Dib was hit by an electrifying shiver.

Then something in the kitchen started dinging.

Zim sat up more and turned his head to look with disgust, while Dib's face displayed disbelief and absolute, manic disappointment.

Sighing, the irken slid off of Dib, and the couch, and started walking into the kitchen, finally speaking for the first time in ages.

"That's either the snack I left in the fridge to 'chill,' or explosive chemicals. I need to go see."

"Oh... Okay." Dib sat up and kicked his feet over the edge of the couch, staring down at them sadly, but not without just a little bit of wonder at what Zim had just allowed him to feel. His cheeks were still pink.

**~•~**

**Sorry to interrupt that but it had to end before Dib got too worked up and Zim found something to be curious about down lower on his human...**

**Zim: Hey! What's this thing? ._'. *shoves hand down Dib's pants for inappropraite touching***

**Dib: OuO *Does not object at alllll***

**XD Like that. I'm afraid it's just too early for that, especially since this story is currently only rated T. Ahh well. I think Zim has enough hormone problems already. Let's not go getting him pregnant right now.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's chapter 9! :D I'd like to thank everyone for reviews and answer those that I can/need to;**

**For date ideas, I don't think bowling would work, just because repetitively throwing a ball isn't an overly exciting thing to read/write, for traveling into space, Zim would have to make that offer to Dib. That might require more trust and a reason for him to do so, so I'll keep it in mind but I can't use it now. Biting, there will be biting, but I'm saving that for later too~**

**More touching will occur, but I need something for them to do like, right around now. Little games like twenty questions that they can play in Zim's house... Ooo! Here's an idea, who votes for truth or dare?**

**To everyone else, thanks for your encouragement! And I want to give another special thanks to TwoCute for reviewing this story. To those who don't know her, she's high among my favorite ZADR writers. Check her out and give her some luv kay? ^^**

**Enjoy the ninth chapter of Reality Problems!**

**~•~•~•~**

The alarm that had stopped the alien's... exploration, was just the timer for a snack, as Zim discovered when he opened his refrigerator. The tub of creamy looking, psychedelic colored alien dip was done cooling, successfully gelatin-ized.

If Zim hadn't had a particular liking for this snack, which he hadn't been able to get in ages with the communication problems, he would've been a lot more upset and frustrated at the interruption.

As it was, he stood in front of his fridge holding the door open and he scowled quite blankly, just running his mind back over the events of the past few minutes in silence.

Dib was still in the other room. He'd sat up on the couch and was now idly swing-kicking his legs, consumed in thought; an identical state to the alien in the kitchen.

The human's face still burned red, the skin of his neck tingling from the massaging, cool touch, and the prickling of insectoid claws.

What... What had just happened was... It felt glorious, but his heart was pumping adrenaline through him, instincts chanting; 'fight or flight! Flight or fight!'

It wasn't that he shared some fear of touch with Zim, it was that he'd been so new to that. But moreover, it was the feeling of utter helplessness that had seized him in an iron grip, holding him still to take in what his shattered mentality needed. Whether Zim proved his control over him through pain, or satisfied his curiosity for him through more gentle, wandering touches, didn't matter. Dib needed stimulation. He needed attention from another living being. It didn't matter if what he enjoyed was from love or masochism. He just knew he needed SOMETHING.

And that scared him a little. Because he knew the control Zim could put over him so easily, made Dib the biggest sitting duck in the pond, open to abuse.

There was no question of whether Zim would hurt him at some point. Not in Dib's mind. Zim was a predator. For all Dib knew, they might show interest in each other through things a fragile human would call torture.

For Dib, it was a matter of how far Zim might go, and what he himself could survive without having a breakdown... Or even, what he could literally survive.

But if Zim gave him more of what he'd just given...

He needed SOMETHING.

And he'd gotten something just now. Now not only his damaged brain cells but also every nerve Zim had contact with was singing the invader's praises.

The human drew his knees up and hugged himself slightly, shivering badly.

It... It had felt so GOOD... How could he deny himself that? He HAD to find a way to get more of such attention from Zim. He just absolutely NEEDED to.

The irken freaked out when Dib was in control. Fine. The boy could live with always being the submissive, he thought. Just as long as Zim didn't lose interest in him.

Yes, Zim had actually enjoyed the touch so long as he was in control. So it seemed to Dib.

While he was relieved with this, at the same time, Zim was busy examining the thought.

This weakness caused the irken almost no problem so long as he had control. As long as Dib was in submission and held down under him, Zim could do as he pleased with almost no nudging paranoia and certainly no massive waves of fear.

So then, what things came down to now was; what to do now?

His snack was ready, he was staring into his fridge at the swirled mess of color, but he sure as hell wasn't sharing it with Dib. Irkens might be major predators, but they also had just enough scavenger instincts in them to desperately hoard, and viciously defend, their stashes of food. If an Irken shared food, either something was wrong with them, or they trusted and cared about the recipient on a deep, deep level, or at least on a level that was just deep enough to cut it if said person was dying. Everything had its variables.

At current, Zim barely even considered gifting the human, unless one counted wondering how Dib's digestive system might react to the alien chemicals; would it blow him up? More importantly, would this potentially amusing explosion be worth the amount of bloody mess it made?

Closing the fridge door, Zim left the subject. No, Dib wasn't getting any of his morsels yet.

But the fact that Zim had visualized him eating some and suffering a consequential torturous death... it might be a start. Maybe.

And whether the irken even realized it or not, the fact that Dib had offered him the last of his cake at the little cafe, had made an impression on the alien.

To his instincts, it meant that Dib cared. Very, very deeply.

Just another symbol of another link on Dib's chain leash. Zim relished this new-found cool, metallic lead, eager to give it a tug and watch the choke collar tighten on Dib's throat, forcing him to follow his master.

With food in mind, and wanting an excuse to eat his favorite dip without being obligated by human culture to share with his new potential-mate/pet/he-really-needed-to-find-someth ing-to-call-Dib, Zim suddenly realized how late it had gotten. It was a human meal time. He didn't want HIS human, HIS new property, to whither away on him. Dib would need some supper.

Tapping his foot against the dark purple tiles, the invader looked around.

Gir had plenty of human food. He wouldn't mind sharing. Zim could give some of that to Dib.

...

Gir wouldn't mind.

...

Because Gir wasn't there any more.

As that knowledge slithered into Zim all over again, he felt that strange tingle in his face, especially around his eyes, and by his antenna; that tingle that made his eyes water and his body weaken and tremble and his breaths come in gasps if he didn't hold it off. It was an evil, evil tingle. He had to fight it!

He bit his lower lip and slammed the feeling out of mind with cold, hard logic, harshly wiping his not-yet teary face off and rubbing his temples.

Gir would never return to reclaim his food.

...

Don't think about it. Don't think about it...

-Therefor! It was only reasonable to give it to Dib. Dib needed food. Zim had food he needed to get rid of before it spoiled. Two problems solved!

At this moment the human male was in the middle of mentally replaying the former scene with Zim, wanting to relive some of the sensations, eyes closed in enjoyment as he hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them.

Sad thing was he had nothing better to do. He didn't want to follow Zim EVERYWHERE in a clearly annoying manner. He needed to allow space. So in the mindset of not intruding on the alien, he just stayed where he'd been left off the couch.

That soft cool touch... Against... His neck... Unrestrained shudders passing through his body... Zim's weight and heat felt through his clothes as the alien was straddling his waist, Dib laid back under him...

"DIB!"

Zim's loud voice shouted out and Dib jumped, startled, face flushed with a guilty embarrassment of his own mind, a feeling akin to what he'd felt the other night... After he saw something he hadn't meant to through his cameras. He swallowed thickly, only half admonishing himself and not at all bothering to say he'd never think such things again.

"Wh-what?"

He called back towards to kitchen, where Zim assumably still was, out of his sight.

"Are you hungry again and needing something to stuff your face with human?"

Dib considered that question all too calmly considering the semi-insulting way it was worded. He was rather used to such Zim-speech.

"Not really. We just ate, and I normally don't have supper until seven or eight, sometimes nine. It's only... What... Five?...

Oh! But, uh, thanks! I mean, you know, if you were offering. And if you're hungry, g-go ahead and eat. I don't mind. Not that, uh... Never mind."

Zim found himself smirking at the cautiousness of the wording. At least Dib had basically spelled out that he could go ahead and eat his dip without the human running in to steal any.

Getting it out of the fridge, Zim got to work scooping glops of substance from the container into a bowl, and then tossing in a good sized helping of puffy alien chips in on top.

It took a long moment of consideration, but finally he got out a bag of some earth snack for Dib. It was on the grounds that the human was sneaky and clever, and might have said he wasn't hungry and that Zim shouldn't mind, only to make the Irken feel comfortable, so he wouldn't be on the lookout for any evil snack-stealing plans!

Stinky human! But Zim was too smart for him! Zim would make sure there would be no room in the earthling's stomach for Dib to steal his food without making his gut explode! How clever he was!

"I'm amazing..."

Zim hummed to himself before goose-stepping back over to Dib and the couch.

Dib meeped slightly as some thrown crinkly object smacked against the side of his head, jumping to look and see what it was and who his aggressor was.

"Eat that. It will give you human nutrients... And stuff."

Picking up the bag as Zim sat down next to him, Dib squinted at the label. 'Puffy Cheesies.' He couldn't think of many foods that could possibly be LESS nutritious, but with Zim, Dib knew, he'd probably be very limited to 'its-the-thought-that counts' in many such situations.

And this thought was startling. Zim had gotten him something!... Amazing!... Come to think of it, Zim had made sure he got some of the best and most expensive food at that coffee-house-restaurant too! The realization that he was being... CARED FOR, caused Dib to blank and freeze as a foreign but pleasant warmth spread through his chest.

With a small smile to express infinite thanks, Dib looked over to see Zim had thumped down next to him, crossed his legs -goodness those pants were tight- and was eating some... Thing... That looked to Dib like the rotten remains of dead rainbow. Dib's smile faded as he looked at Zim's food and tried not to grimace. Eventually he gathered the wits to look away.

Zim was scooping up the 'colorful' dip on the equally 'colorful' chips and popping them into his mouth. He'd crunched through three chips before grabbing the TV remote again.

Dib restrained a sigh, averting his gaze heavenward. No, please, no... not another fifteen minutes flipping through channels. Why couldn't the alien just make up his mind and pick one thing to watch? Dib wasn't even too keen on watching TV but they could at least ACTUALLY WATCH SOMETHING... Zim was being like a 'popular' high-school girl deciding on clothes to wear. This was ridiculous and unnecessary.

Was this how the Irken spent his afternoons and evenings on a regular basis? Television and food? Dib knew he USED to spend them plotting, but now...

... If a human did nothing but vegetate on a couch didn't that signal depression?

... Was this why Zim had wanted him over? Was he counting on Dib to give him something else to do? When he was too down to find anything for himself?

The human started almost going into a panic. Was he failing Zim? Was he losing relationship points here? What was he supposed to do though? He didn't know how to entertain another person! He didn't know any social games! What was he supposed to do?

Dib bit his lip, thinking hard.

Games... Games... Entertainment... Something... Anything...

Why now? Of all times why did his brain have to run dry now?

"Do you not like your chips?"

Dib looked up, not overlooking the miffed air to the alien's face and voice. The very idea that this lowly creature would refuse his offering... Just sit there holding the chips and doing nothing... Filthy little...

"Oh, ih-it's not that... I was just thinking. Yeah. Thanks a lot by the way. You didn't have to give me anything..."

Zim made a funny snorting noise, which seemed doubly odd due to his lack of a nose. Dib theorized he might breathe a little through holes at the bases of his antenna, or maybe even through his skin; amphibians could do it. Zim was a slightly mammalian insectoid from Dib's guesses, not amphibious at all as far the boy could tell, but still, who knew.

"Zim does not HAVE to do anything. I can do whatever I want within reasonability, logic, and my own physical capabilities."

Yup. That was Zim. And that didn't sound like a 'you're welcome' either, even from him. Dib didn't know how to respond so he quickly stuffed several chips in his mouth for an excuse not to speak.

Eventually the human got upset with the non-stop channel changing, and got up enough nerve to throw out the interest catching line; "Woah! Wait! Wait! Go back!"

Dib hadn't even seen anything he'd usually watch to tell Zim to go back to. He just wanted to find something to stick with.

As the earthling suggested, Zim went back. They wound up watching some sort of murder mystery, psychotic serial killer, dramatic, violent show. Dib wasn't too interested except in the psychological aspects, which he felt weren't explored as much as they should have been in the given scenarios, but he thanked his luck that Zim seemed to enjoy it... Though after a while he wondered if that was so good, and if he was giving the predator ideas.

It gave Dib nervous jitters to see how Zim stared at the gore and torture scenes with raptured fascination and an... Oddly, intense look.

The killer on the screen expertly knifed open another victim, and Dib saw himself laying there covered in blood having his own guts taken out by a certain grinning invader.

It was not a pleasant thought. He might be questioning whether he was a masochist, but certainly not to that level. He preferred his insides inside him where they belonged without any doubt.

Zim meanwhile was taking silent notes on which ways the blade went, what lines it followed, the science of the tortures, the deaths... And what was done with the bodies, almost in a sort of trance, feeding it into his brain, giving no sign of any inward emotion the whole time.

Dib could almost sense the type of thoughts the Irken was having, paranoia had for once given him the correct answer. Minutes ticking by until he was far more concentrated on Zim's reactions then the actual movie. He was getting more and more butterflies in his stomach.

The movie came to a very poor, inconclusive ending. The suspected killer committed suicide leaving hundreds of questions never to be answered, and the police seemed to react in a manner best described as 'well that's that!' The protagonist got paid for his work and got all rich and famous and got together with his girlfriend and they kissed and went home and the credits rolled.

Dib grunted out something about 'stories and cartoons and movies these days.' What he said was completely drowned out by an infuriated shout from the Irken though.

"THAT'S IT?" With his usual unnecessary drama Zim swung his arms up and nearly snacked Dib in doing so.

Dib sighed, barely aware of the close call, reaching into his bag of chips only to be surprised to find it empty and to not even remember having eaten many. He turned it upside down with one hand, shaking it over the other to get the last salty crumbs to lick off his palm and fingers.

"They probably ran out of money for making the movie and had to cut it short or something. It was definitely rushed."

"It was definitely awful!" Zim snapped, and in a fit he threw his remote at the TV. It just bounced off but Dib went quiet, not wanting to draw any of that hostile attention to himself.

The alien stomped into the kitchen with his now empty bowl. He'd eaten all of what Dib had mentally referred to as rotten rainbow flesh.

Dib watched him go, still keeping silent. Had HE upset Zim somehow? He hoped not. He also certainly hoped Zim wouldn't go taking out his frustration on him. So he continued to keep his mouth shut while the alien yelled at his computer to do the dishes. He just crinkled up his chip bag in his hands and looked around.

It had gotten dark outside. Quite dark actually. And that meant something because it was summer now so it didn't get dark until late. He considered the few stars in the polluted sky before calling to Zim, happy for a chance to change the subject.

"Are you going to want me to stay up with you, or go to sleep and get out of your way?"

~•~•~•~

Zim's frustration was not simply at the movie's ending. Something, more then just the way it was cut off, was making him feel strangely unsatisfied. It was fading by now though. So he was calming down more by the time Dib called out, and when he thought about the question, he found himself softening even more. Finally he answered, in a frustratingly small voice that made him clear his throat afterwards to dust away the awkwardness of the too-caring tone;

"Dib is not in the way."

The human automatically beamed at that response. That was certainly the opposite of what he usually heard.

"Okay, well then, would you mind if I change into cooler clothes? It feels kind of hot in here."

Zim returned from the kitchen with a look on his face that heavily suggested he'd just had a weird case of mis-hearing.

"You want to turn into a WHAT?"

Dib smiled but forced himself not to laugh.

"I want to put on different clothes, so I don't feel so hot."

With a polite smile he tapped his backpack with his foot in a less dramatic sort of emphasis then what Zim specialized in.

"Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead." The alien waved the request off with an 'I-don't-care' tone, before looking around the room, desperately wanting something besides television to amuse himself, but seeing nothing, as usual.

Dib waited for a moment before awkwardly speaking up again, having had a sudden rather unwanted realization.

"You don't have, like, a bathroom or anything do you?"

Zim looked confused for a moment, then his eyes widened, then he looked disturbed.

"Humans and your filthy biological needs... Yes... I suppose if you will be here for long you'll need a 'bathroom.' It'll take the computer a while to construct one with running water that'll fit in with my current base though...

Computer! Construct a functional human bathroom just under the house with a lift going down to it."

Before Dib could put in that he didn't need to 'use' the bathroom right then; he only needed a place to change and maybe wash up; out of the blue Zim was giving an order to change HIS OWN HOUSE, for Dib's convenience and comfort. He just sat there for a moment in a sort of shock, before remembering what he was doing, and stuttering up his voice again, burying away the thought to analyze and hopefully revel in later.

"I-I just need a place to dress... I mean, is there..."

Zim looked at him confused.

"What do you mean? Just change your clothes. Zim already gave you permission."

Dib felt an embarrassed warm tingle spread through his cheeks. Zim didn't understand...

"Uhm, yeah but, I mean, you're in here so... Uhm... Should I go in the kitchen?"

The Irken looked mildly offended. He opened his mouth... And said something that sent Dib into shock.

"No. I want to watch."

...

He... He couldn't have just...

But he had.

Zim had found something other then TV to amuse himself.

"Uh... Uhm... I, I don't think... W-why?" Falling into stress relief habits the poor earthling began to scratch at one of his arms, and then the back of his neck.

Zim merely shrugged as if this were no big deal at all, offering an all too calm smile.

"Zim is curious. I have rarely even seen you without your big jacket thing and... Dib your face is all red." Zim grimaced. "You aren't getting a germ-fever are you?"

"N-no... I just..." Dib shifted from foot to foot, swallowed heavily and kept his eyes turned away.

"I-I'll just go dress in the kitchen, okay?"

Dib stepped forward to grab his backpack, unable to make eye contact. Immediately Zim glared at him and pushed his backpack away with a foot.

"I said I wanted to see!"

"Z-Zim, I-I cant... I... You..."

"Why not?"

He wasn't getting out of this. Dib began to feel faint as he realized his former nemesis was demanding that he strip in front of him, now.

**~•~•~•~**

**I think that's a great place to end it, don't you? Trolololol... XD**

**Seriously though, please review! Any constructive criticism is welcome, and I need ideas for where to take this from here.**


	10. Chapter 10

Yes, I'll add to Prisoner of Nightmares next... Probably. I also need to write up a Portal-Chelly fic that's been in my head for a while.

Rating: T; if you read the last chapter you should know why. It does not go above T to M yet though. Not yet. ;)

Read, enjoy, review! ^^

~•~•~•~

Dib opened his mouth to protest, couldn't find words, closed it, opened it again, closed it again... he was floundering, expression clearly showing distress while Zim just waited, almost patiently, with a hint of amused confusion at the earthling's seemingly panicked response.

Dib wanted to just say no. He wanted to walk out, he wanted to take back his suggestion of changing into something cooler so the subject would never have gone here.

No, just no. It... It was so wrong... That... That was just... He couldn't...

The problem was, he was dealing with Zim. And he had a relationship with Zim. A not-very-secure relationship that he knew he would have to pour into. He understood that. Yes. Fine. Woop de do.

The problem was that he'd do anything for his former nemesis, be the knight in shining armor or simply the helpful sidekick, even the obedient slave! He needed Zim.

But this was... Zim had no idea of human modesty, clearly.

They'd just gotten together, and the invader wanted him to undress for his amusement.

...

People just didn't ASK this of someone else! Definitely not someone who'd feel as trapped in NEEDING to do anything asked of them as Dib felt towards Zim!

...

He wasn't getting out.

There had to be some positive aspect to this. Find it. Focus on that, he told himself.

Swallowing heavily, Dib looked away from the invader, widened eyes pleading with the inanimate objects of the room... And resting on...

His whole countenance changed instantly. How had he missed that until now?

That was extravagantly wonderful! It was... It was...

A VERY good sign.

He had a hard time trying not to smile.

There, on the table beside the door, sitting next to the telephone, was a new and expensive and beautiful looking vase. In the vase were the flowers he'd given Zim.

Quite a few were wilting and whatever Zim had put in with them wasn't water, but rather some glowing alien liquid that looked like stereotypical toxic waste. Perhaps drawing 'nutrition' from that had caused the weird bulbous growths all over the plants; the boy was quite certain they didn't have that when he'd handed them off to their new caregiver.

But whether Zim fully comprehended the 'romantic' gift of flowers or not, the usually practical invader had taken Dib's useless bunch of flora and put it on a pedestal of sorts. He valued it somehow. He valued what Dib gave him.

"What are you waiting for?"

Annoyed impatience seasoned the other's voice and Dib looked back at Zim, feeling his heart plummet again, though at least not quite as far.

Lovely. The invader appreciated his flowers. Great.

He was still demanding that his new 'slave' take off his clothes.

...

...

...

"F-fine."

Not without shakiness, Dib looked away, took the edge of his shirt, and pulled it up over his head, his jacket falling to the floor also.

Sometimes the easiest way for a person to make up their mind, was for them to stop thinking. That was harder for Dib then it was for Zim though... His hands trembled. He'd never thought the next traumatic episode of his life would be like this...

He did not want...

Glee permeated Zim's entire being on seeing Dib's obedience and he perked right up, fidgeting on the couch, antennas lifted, eyes seeming enlarged with rapt attention, his hands playing with the edge of the couch seat.

For the first time in his life that he actually bothered to care about any such thing, Dib was glad he was a guy, in other words, that he had nothing culturally considered too 'private' on his chest for Zim to be staring at. A glance at the Irken though showed Dib that there was something for him to stare at, the boy still being a mammal, and his cheeks went red. Zim wasn't even going to be nice and keep silent about it was he?

"You've got red things on your chest." He announced dumbly while Dib turned to pull a thinner shirt out of his backpack.

"Yeah, I know."

"What are they for?"

"Nothing."

"...Real nothing or suspicious nothing that's not really nothing at all but is actually something?" The Irken narrowed his eyes and Dib had to pause to translate what he said.

"... They... Really don't do anything. At all."

"Oh." Zim sounded unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Mammals were so strange...

Quickly, the male shook out his shirt and started pulling it on. No way he was staying topless and exposed. He'd never been comfortable doing that in his own house, and he certainly wasn't going to do it around Zim. Maybe he was being silly, but with low self worth came the idea that his body was practically a hideous mass of flesh to be covered up. At least, that was how he would be best described in comparing him to those who would happily reveal themselves and strut about to attract attention to their self-supposed gorgeousness. That might be how Zim looked at himself but it was basically the opposite of Dib at this point in his life.

The earthling wouldn't consider himself shy. When he was young he'd jump up on tables yelling and screaming like someone with turret syndrome. But as he'd gotten older... He'd given that up. It never got him the attention he wanted, so he just went quiet and... Perhaps with age... He HAD become shy. A shy kid who still longed for attention with everything in him; paradoxical.

Or maybe just 'emo' to borrow a term from the high-school halls.

Well, he was certainly getting attention NOW.

... Was Zim... The... The irken's cheeks were... Darker. Was he blushing? Could irkens blush?... Zim was blushing from looking at HIM? Well... That seemed like a desirable response. Maybe he was worrying too much. Maybe this wasn't TOO terrible...

Zim had never seen that much of Dib's skin before...

The human was always pale. He never seemed to tan, or burn either, the lucky human. His face and hands were always a rather milky white, so much so that it made him stand out a little in school, especially during summer. His chest was the same, the Irken saw.

Pale skin, ribcage showing and stomach very slim due to half-self-imposed malnutrition; he was always too busy to eat or sleep. The slight outlines of muscles showed a warning of the male's strength, much of it gained from chasing and fighting him, Zim would like to think.

There were some things though that he KNEW were his doing, showing on Dib...

Scars.

Those long pale marks from where claws had torn fragile skin... Ohhhh yesssss. Zim felt himself shiver all over.

He would very much like to do more of that... The mental image was just a flash, but for the duration of that flash, his eyes glazed over.

To hold Dib down and not just grip and claw him but to... Bite... Down... The neck yes... Get a fierce, controlling grip there... Taste the blood... Feel Dib squirming... Under him... Hear his whimpers... Just like... With the touching... But more... More... Squirming... More force... More friction and noises...

It was such a delicious feeling that had infected him... He wanted more.

Zim's tongue flicked out to lick his lips, jarred with a wave of desire, before being distracted by the upsetting realization that Dib's chest was covered again. He'd gotten a new shirt on before Zim had even realized, the alien having been lost in musings.

The garment was baby-blue and shortsleeved, with a UFO on the front. How cute. Zim could definitely make up his mind that he preferred Dib's chest bare though.

Well, he was half done. Now came the terrible part.

Dib looked down, glanced up at Zim... Felt his own cheeks burning, the alien object of his complete affection... Trailing his eyes all over the human's body, and then he looked back down and...

No no no no no...

He... He felt dizzy... He didn't want to... He didn't feel well.

Was this how Zim felt when he'd touched him earlier? If so was he ever sorry...

Maybe he could still get out of this... He had to TRY to get out of it.. He COULDN'T... The thought of the shame in revealing himself like that, the potential ridicule from the Irken... It would make him TOO vulnerable... Zim wouldn't understand. He WOULDN'T. And Dib would be subject to teasing towards the most private part of himself, he just KNEW...

Dib knew almost nothing about Irken anatomy but he did know Zim certainly didn't have anything outward and obvious. The other night's spying episode had shown him that. He seemed quite sensitive to being kicked in the area, during their fights, but...

He just wouldn't understand. It would be TOO awkward.

He COULDN'T.

He had to get out of this!

"There... Are you happy now-"

"That was only your shirt! You have to do the other half now!"

Dib looked wretched and Zim seemed... Quite a few things at once.

He was stubborn that Dib WOULD carry through with this, and, 'entertain' him... And he looked very entertained. Not in terms of scientific curiosity entirely either. More like... A very human reaction to the prospect of seeing another undress.

Dib didn't even know what he felt at the realization that the Irken seemed... Turned on, but whatever feeling shot through him, it was rather intense, and it consisted heavily of the butterflies in his stomach suddenly multiplying exponentially.

Okay, well... One thing was for sure. He would have to change his boxers later. If Zim felt the need to question his chest, he could only imagine what would happen in revealing his crotch to the alien. No. Not happening. No no no no no. His face burned at the mere thought, even more then it had a minute ago.

Okay, so if he didn't have to be entirely in the nude, maybe this wasn't so bad.

Taking a deep breath and trying so hard not to think about what he was doing, a very pale Dib shakily undid his belt buckle and shook out of his pants.

The only thought left in his head was a pounding scream that he couldn't believe he was doing this. WHY was he doing this? What was wrong with him? What was he expecting to get out of this? It was sick! It was horrible. What kind of path would his life go down thanks to this one situation? This just wasn't something he'd ever considered doing at any point in his life. He was very plainly stripping for another's amusement. If Zim could make him do this then how much more...

But he looked up and saw Zim staring blatantly with a desiring sort of look, face darkened in blush, antennas perked up and forward, twitching with clear interest, and... It shot him. The feeling of the whole situation was terrifying. The feeling brought on by the way Zim looked at him was good. And he was just able to recognize that. He was... ... Wanted.

In some way, something about him was desirable to someone.

If it took removing almost all his clothes in front of an alien for this fact to make itself known... So be it, he felt, with a sense of absolution.

His face was so very red, and his heart was thumping so hard in his chest as he quickly grabbed his dark-blue pajama shorts out of his backpack, and pulled them on and up.

Done.

There.

He'd freaking done it...

He couldn't believe himself. Half of his reaction felt like shame numbed by a sort of trauma, and the other half was yet undecided but a lot of possibilities were starting to swirl into nausea.

Zim said something but... Dib didn't hear it. The very fact that the Irken had spoken at all was only noticed belatedly.

Something was wrong. Dib suddenly felt lost. He'd forced himself through what was asked of him, now what? All he knew was his head felt funny and he suddenly knew, very simply, that he was going to sit down now. So he turned and fell back into the couch to stare at the ceiling for a long time. Ringing in his ears drowned the irken's voice but he knew Zim was talking to him when the alien was suddenly in his face, looking upset. Slowly, Dib began coming back into himself... Only to drift back and forth. He felt shaken.

Something was wrong. It was too much. Something was wrong...

Had he fainted?... No, he almost did he thought, but it didn't quite seem so.

"Why aren't you answering me pig-monkey-dog-slug-"

Oh lovely. Zim was so very happy and enthusiastic and such a lovely person in general. So very caring and sweet was he. Such a gentle quiet nature...

Dib almost laughed at his disoriented thoughts, especially when an increasingly irritated little sweet-and-gentle invader slapped him across the face, screaming at him and... Did Zim just call him a bitch? Seriously?

Ouch. Wow. Poor alien had seen too much high school. Dib was too estranged of his own mind right there to get overly emotional about being sworn at and slapped though, or to give a very normal reaction at all.

So he started to laugh.

At first it was a snort, then a giggle, and it developed and quickly became louder and more full.

And he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

He fell back into the couch a bit with tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't even know what was so funny but he couldn't stop laughing. Oh it felt good. So much better then crying or screaming with anger or just bottling his emotions and ignoring them.

Two thoughts wormed in through all else.

Something was wrong in his brain, this reaction was wrong, it was disturbing to Zim.

And;

Zim got up off the couch, and backed off out of sight, walking away from him to leave him.

Zim got up.

And Zim left him.

He left him and seconds passed and he didn't come back.

Dib just kept laughing.

~•~•~•~

The young human had not expected Zim to say yes.

He had expected rejection.

Because that was all he got, because he was treated like that was all he deserved, and because he was coming to believe that was all he deserved, because he knew he was damaged.

He'd been to the therapists, got all kinds of demeaning diagnosis, been given all sorts of terrible drugs; he hated them. He never took them. They just made him feel and act stupid and get beat up and ridiculed ever more. He refused drugs, and over time, he refused any treatment at all. They never seemed to help, they just made him hate himself more. He gave up on outward help. And he gave up on himself, on his betterment. On the idea he could be fixed.

The fact was his brain wasn't right. Too much neglect. Too much abuse. He didn't sleep. He rarely ate, and what he did eat was centered around what would give him the most energy, purely to fight Zim. Carbs and protein. It was not what his body needed to be a healthy individual physically.

It was all Zim. Because Zim was all he had and he needed him for the entirety of his mentality.

He was desperate. And he couldn't think right. All he knew, all that mattered, was that Zim was Zim. That was why he bent to his will even when it was so horrifying to him.

This last bit had been too much. Too traumatizing. He'd almost fainted. He managed not to.

Instead he entirely lost it.

Too much bottled emotion. Too much... Too much... Too much...

He lay there laughing for a long time, until finally, as if a switch had been flipped, he calmed down rather suddenly. He went from hysterics, to horrendous, terrified sobbing.

What happened? He couldn't stop shaking! What happened?

... What had he done?

Where was Zim?

No... No...

Oh what had he DONE?

Zim had left.

The Irken was gone. Dib had slipped. He showed his weakness. The Irken didn't like it. Dib couldn't remember where Zim had gone or how long ago, everything was fuzzy.

All he knew was he'd disturbed Zim. Upset him. Shown himself unworthy.

Zim left... He left... Wanted nothing more to do with him. He was too damaged. Too weird. Too pathetic. And not good enough.

He was disturbing and disgusting and not good enough for anyone.

His head was pounding. Something was wrong. He didn't know what. Everything was spinny and hurting and he didn't feel well.

His heart ached. He wanted... He wanted Zim. And for nothing less innocent then to simply be with, maybe even to hold. He needed that. Needed it. right. now. He was crumbling. Breaking.

Probably not for the first or last time either.

After a while, and his crying had died down, he was vaguely aware of movement within the room but he didn't look up. Everything was too dark and heavy.

It hung near him for a longish while, then moved again.

Dib was cold, but then something was over him, and he felt warmer. Something tenderly heated pressed down on him from above. The human sniffled, shifting slightly to get comfortable, and the thing on him tensed badly, then slowly relaxed again.

He thought he heard... Underwater noises, but they were... Too far, and he was... Drifting further... Away... So... Tired...

~•~•~•~

It takes talent to turn a strip scene into this. *nods* LOL... How did that happen? Oh well. At least the plot bunnies are back and multiplying healthy-like. *pets them*


End file.
